"Equipped But Not Positioned"

I know this is a strange way to get a message, but I believe everything in life Speaks Wisdom, so bear with me for a moment.  Each Sunday at the end of service, I greet members and guest at the exit door.  The doors have a door stopper attached that we use to prop the door open so we are free to greet, and hug without the door closing; that is what a door-stopper does.  But over the years, I've noticed that the bottom of the stopper has worn down, and it no longer has the grip to hold the door open.  Since that is not the most important thing going on, week after week, we forget about it and prop the door ourselves.  There was a time that another door-stopper was put in place right next to the one attached to the door... only problem was it didn't fit the door, and would slide from the weight of the door, and we still would have to use our bodies to hold the door; while we hug and greet guest.  Since I love D.I.Y. projects, I planned to find a rubber gripper that fits this door-stopper, so it can help the stopper do what it was supposed to do, HOLD THE DOOR OPEN!  While thinking about that stopper,  my mind went to thinking about us...

POSITIONED BUT NOT EQUIPPED

The first thing I thought about was that little door-stopper, it was exactly where it is supposed to be, on the door. But over the years it has lost the 'equipment' to be effective.   That door-stopper is not in the way,  or in the wrong 'position',  it is just no longer works.  Many of us have a position in the body of Christ, or a title in our churches, but we have not kept ourselves strong, relevant,  and equipped to do the thing we have been made to do.  Granted, that was not the problem years ago when the door-stopper was first put in place.  It did it's job wonderfully!  We could kick it down and it would hold the door open in any position without a second motion.  What happened  to our dear door-stopper was years of use and environment changes. That door-stopper endured many changes to the floor it works on, carpet has been changed, tile has been replaced, and all along it kept working.  Many days of being 'kicked' down, called on to perform, and basically fulfilling purpose has left the door stopper ineffective.  As people we have to know when we need an slight upgrade or some "Me" time to replenish and repair.  We need to know when to accept a little help so we can be the best for what we know we are called to do.   As people we can talk, we can tell someone when we feel a little worn, and we also need people around us that can do the same.  The sad thing about the worn out door-stopper, is that inadvertently, in it's worn out state, it is subject to damage what it comes in contact with.  I discovered that this door-stopper is positioned, but no longer equipped, no longer relevant because of the changes that happened to the floor around it. It will need an upgrade, or a replacement part and both are available! 

EQUIPPED BUT NOT POSITIONED

Since I have a habit of covering both sides or my stories, here is the other.  Many people are equipped, but not positioned.  That is like the door-stopper that is still on the store shelf.  You have been made for a purpose, well able to do the job,  but you are not in position.  When it comes to a store, yes... someone has to buy you, but when it comes to us, we have to be available, and allow people to see our gifts, and offer our services to help.  My pastor said once "God is not going to tell people what you can tell them."  So many people are not busy because they are waiting for the pastor or someone to 'see' them, pull, prod and recruit them to be involved; but that is old and too much work.  If you know you have a gift, if you know you can help, step up!  Why sit in the shelf during services noticing everything that you are gifted in being handled by a door-stop that does not fit?  Your insight, your gift, your presence could make a difference in how things run. Each person has a purpose and plan- are you in yours?  I encourage you to not waste your time, your talent, or your opportunities to be a blessing and useful in the Body of Christ.  

EQUIPPED AND POSITIONED!

So, if you are not doing anything with the gift God has given you, get busy!  Time is not waiting on you, and if you don't do your job... another door-stopper will show up just because the need is still there.  I encourage you to be found doing what you are equipped to do, and if you are in position already, stay equipped.  Don't allow life's wears and tears get you to the place that you are ineffective. Keep yourself strong in the word of God, stay encouraged, humbled, available, and able to do what God has called you to do, and do it well!  

"Picking Sides- Two Sides to Every Story"

I remember the day well.   I was in middle school in Giessen Germany talking about a fight I was involved in at the Commissary. The confrontation was between a group of our friends, and a group of grown women.  These women were picking on our friend, and according to her it was unprovoked.  We ran into these women at the military base and they started yelling and made a step towards my friend.  Without thinking, I stepped between them.  After a few unnecessary words, a tossed soda, but no blows, we became aware of our surroundings, and we all walked away. Our group left feeling confident, because we were 'defending our friend'.  A few days later, while being corrected by an adult, my friend admitted her fault for the confrontation, information we were not privy to.  That was the day I learned a lesson that I still hold to today. DON'T PICK SIDES.

TWO SIDES

We have all heard that "There are two sides to every story".  Hearing and banking on one side leaves you fighting battles and confronting things that you may not have keen insight on.  It's hard to not pick sides when someone you love confides in you, especially if it seems they have been treated unfairly, or if someone does not like them; but if you pick a side from that perspective, you are more likely to find yourself wrong.  Even after my divorce, I didn't expect people to side with me... I have no side... we don't own people.  I am a person who went through a divorce, but God is still good.   I expect people to treat my ex-husband well because he is a great person- he is also the father of my kids.  I still send people to him for counsel because he is very good at helping people. Picking sides acts as if there is no error on the side you picked, and that is never accurate. 

Over 25 years, I have sat in counseling sessions with people without the person they are saying is the reason for their pain.  In those instances, I give myself to them and to their pain, I listen to them and try to comfort and give solutions that THEY can implement to get a God outcome. I give myself, but I don't give myself completely- I don't decide how to treat their 'person' because of how they feel they have been treated.  After all these years, I still don't pick sides.  When people ask you to mentor or counsel them, you have to know if they just want to vent, if they are rounding up a posse for a future battle, or do they genuinely want help sorting out their thoughts and feelings.  I may or may not ask these questions upfront, but it is always on my mind. Wisdom teaches us not to cosign for our neighbors, ( Prov 17:18)  if we really thought about it, that is almost the same as picking sides.  We are willing to lose something on behalf of someone else's experience.  Good counselors, good parents, good friends, don't pick sides... you can't help them if you refuse to admit and confront wrong on both sides.

WHEN TO PICK SIDES

After that unnecessary middle school confrontation, I was embarrassed and mad that I could have gotten in trouble for a friend that lied to us.  That day I made a life decision for myself... "That will NEVER happen again".  The only side I pick now is God's.  With my children... if you disrespected your teacher, I will deal with the teacher, if they were wrong, but your side needs to adjust as well.   If I am counseling a wife, I may love you, but how you treat your husband is your doing, how he treats you is his.  If you come to me for counseling, you will hear what YOU need to do.  If you want me to talk to him, bring him to the session.  We have to learn to not jump on bandwagons against people on behalf of other folks- even those we love.  This lesson if for friends, family, church family, counselors, mentors and even politicians.  Picking a side without considering what God has said can leave us without hope. Nothing can be resolved when every one is right in their own eyes.  When we pick God's side, we can sleep at night knowing that He will handle the results.  At the end of the day, I sleep well, I have no known enemies, not trying to make any, and I am not thinking bad about anyone!  That is peaceful and there is peace in choosing God's side.  So if you are in the habit of picking sides just because you love someone,  choose God's side.  His side is the only one that will hold up all the way to the end! 

"Introverts in Ministry"

“What’s the matter?” - “Nothing, I was just thinking.”  

“What’s wrong?”  -“Nothing, I was watching those people over there.”

“Are you okay?  You seem distant.” - “l'm good, I was thinking about what you said.”  

I don't know about you, but this has been happening to me since grade school!  I have gotten past most of this intentionally by talking more (sometimes too much), and doing more to be engaged with others. I have tried to be sure people feel loved and heard, and many times it works- other times not so well.  Some people don't believe that I am an introvert because of the job I have, the fact that I love teaching, and I am active on social media.  Being an introvert does not mean that we don’t like people, we are shy, withdrawn, or that we don’t genuinely enjoy company or going out on occasion.  It simply means that it takes a lot out of us,  and we may need time away from folks to gather ourselves.  Working in ministry people may think that everyone should be outgoing, and when they don't see you, it is assumed you are being 'anti-social'.   Though some may use being introverted as an excused to be antisocial, for most of us, that is the furthest from the truth.  

SOCIAL SETTINGS

If you are an outgoing person that dreams of your next "girls trip", or if you can't go a week without "hanging with the boys", then you may not understand the drain that social settings can have on those who are energized differently.  We love people and will be around them and really enjoy it,  but after a certain amount of time home is sounding real good!  Since every person is uniquely different, I can't speak for everyone, so I will have to use my life as an example.  When it came to social gatherings, I used to have a rule, "arrive early, leave early."  That way I would have time to speak to everyone, be sure I've connected with everyone, then when I have touched and spoken to those there, I could go home.  That wouldn't work for some events, so I would focus my mind on when it was over- and that would help me stay present for longer times. 

I don't like crowded gatherings like ball games, or Black Friday. (who does?.. Oh yeah, someone does!)  I prefer watching a football game on television than in person, I don't really enjoy loud fast music if I can't understand the words,  so concerts are often out, unless I am very familiar with the artist.  I even signed up for Grocery delivery!  That could end my opportunity to be around crowds, so now I have scheduled intentional shopping trips,  just because!  I love painting, music, gardening, decorating, writing, reading books and cleaning my house!  I also like simple gatherings with insightful conversations, and good food with  friends or family.  (preferably at my house).   So as you can see, being an introvert does not mean we are antisocial, we just have to figure out how to be social and not be drained.  

MINISTRY

Regardless to our personality type, ministry and purpose makes everything different.  This is where we have to admit who we are, find who God is making us to be, understand what sacrifices will need to be made, then when it is all said and done.... you can run home to replenish in His presence!   One thing I don't think is appropriate is to allow your personality to stop you from being who you needed to be in God's plan for your life.  We are created for a purpose, so who you are is great, but what you are called to do is greater and requires you.   Moses had a speech issue, he never saw himself talking to a crowd or even approaching Pharaoh on God's behalf for the people.  Yet God called him.  The Apostle Paul was different, he was out there, bold and boisterous, and God used him.  God also used John the one He loved, Rahab, Esther,  and even Jonah.  There are so many different personalities in the body of Christ, but the difference is the willingness to yield to God.  God knows what we need to replenish, and rejuvenate, and in Him, He provides rest for our souls.  

So if you are one like me, and you need downtime to empower yourself,  just be sure your up time is yielded to God.  Stay connected to Him and be open when He really needs you to stretch out.  Know that all the gifting in you is purposeful and needed.  You may still not attend everything event, and you may not look like a social butterfly, but the things you are involved in, MAKE THEM COUNT!  

"Unexpected Death- Making Sense of the Senseless."

 

This blog is as unexpected as the topic.   My focus this month has been "Finish Strong" so we can go into 2020 ready for what God is going to do in us.  I will continue that push, but before I can keep pushing forward, I have to pause to deal with today. 

UNEXPECTED 

On Sunday December 22^nd, a strong and powerful warrior was suddenly taken from this earth.  If you don’t know her, you may Google and look for the death of a president or military head, a lawyer, politician, celebrity or world leader… but you will not find her name there.  If Google was really accurate and up to date according to God’s search engine… you could simply search SERVANT, and the face of Elaine Jolivet would appear.

You may be wondering, what made her death so different from the others that happened earlier this year, or in the years past?  Yes, it was a tragic accident, but others have died that way before.  Yes, she was someone we were used to seeing, but that is true for someone else too. You can barely scroll down a few posts before you see another post about her from someone else.  It is interesting because all of us are separated, different families, different churches, different lives…  but somehow connected  greatly by this woman!  WHY?  Because she was a servant to all, an ambassador of Christ, a voice for the hurting, an advocate for the lowly.  In a sense, she IS that president, military head, lawyer, politician, celebrity and world leader!  The only difference is that she became all things for all men, not so everyone would know her, but that she might win some.

Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible.  To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law.  To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.” 

1 Corinthians 9:19-23

HOW TO COPE

It is hard to tell people that their loved ones are in a better place, when they made this place better.   I remember years ago when a well-loved man Keith Green- passed away in a plane crash along with 3 of his young, his then pregnant wife Melody left us with the scripture God gave her...

“Except a grain of wheat fall into the ground and dies, it abides alone.  But if it falls into the ground and dies, it brings forth much fruit.”  John 12:24 

What came of this revelation I will apply directly to Min Elaine:  She did her work.  She became what she was supposed to be and…. Just like Jesus, her death will bring forth fruit.   In the case of Keith Green, many people stood on the sidelines watching the work that he did.  They marveled at his ability to touch so many though he was just one man and a small ministry.  When he passed away, many thought about their own lives and what they were NOT doing.  Conviction set in and they rose up. 

“The grain of wheat died but like any seed, it brings greater fruit.”  When a good seed dies, good fruit should follow and the kingdom of God grows!

MY LESSONS

There is always something in life we can learn from.  NO matter how hurtful, how sudden or how unnecessary.  For me this is a reminder, stop playing around with these little things and get busy with the things God has called  me to do!  We are NOT promised tomorrow.  Most of us hurt because our loved ones die of old age, or a sickness gets them and we have to watch them go down, then they die. The hardest thing about a SUDDEN death, is that it reminds us that it could have been US.  I spoke to a few people who are really struggling today. As a result this is what  told them I did.  

First, I talked to God, I prayed for her family and her daughters in particular. Prayed for them to stay connected to God like their mother would want them to.  Prayed that the enemy would not get an edge to cause them to doubt God.  Then I talked to Elaine.  Yes... I talked to Elaine.  I told her what I admired about her, how great she served and how she would be missed.  I further told her what I was going to do to honor her and the void she left in the body of Christ.  I encourage you to do the same.  Tell her what you love about her, what you are proud of, how she inspired you, and what you will be doing to fill in the gap.

Grief especially during this time is so difficult because we have to juggle the intense pain with complete joy.  Don’t allow yourself to feel guilty about it, it is normal to fluctuate between pain and joyful realities and think one cannot existent with the other.  

Overall family, we are going to be okay.  We serve a God who is the Master Weaver.  Every thread in life is needed, the bright joyful colors as well as the dark one.  Many times the dark threads tend to cause the brighter ones to stand out more. When it is all said and done, when we look back from eternity and see the tapestry of life,  we will realize that even the dark threads look beautiful.  

Please continue to pray for the family of Elaine Jolivet, her daughters in particular, her church family, and her friends. Take time to grieve, take time to celebrate, take time to breathe…… breathe...

2019 Finish Strong!!

 

I started 2019 off with foster kids in my home.  That was a dream I've had since I was a child, helping kids. So hosting them was just one purpose projects that I asked God about, and it came to pass. Those who followed us know that it was not always easy, but it was extremely purposeful!  I thank God for His grace, and for allowing me to impart in their lives and honestly, they in mine.  The kids stayed with me for the entire school year before they were placed with family.  After they left, I started looking at my next God sized adventure which has been in my heart for years,  My talk show “Wisdom Speaks Today, LLC " was next! 

I worked in radio years ago, and one of the best parts outside the music was the talk shows.  I hosted three of them as needed for our public affairs.  I loved it!  As a result, have spent the last 6 months prepping for this dream.  I have changed areas in my house, sat at the feet of various people who shared a wealth of knowledge with me. I have decorated the set, purchased lighting,   I have also been blessed to know people who are very different than I am who have gifts and skills available for hire.  With those connections I got the logo, theme music, and the animation that I wanted!  It has been an interesting journey and exciting, but not without moments.  Those moments were not really shared with anyone but me… because those moments came from nobody but ME.

FIGHT FEAR

You already know.  We are gifted people, people God has called and prepared to do what we do, but around every corner are questions… “What if I fail?”  then when you finally leave that road and make another turn the question is “What if people don’t like you?” That is hard to get over but when we realize God made us to do us, we stop worrying about that question. We drive a little longer and then the big question is right at the next corner...“Can you really afford this?”   

Understand that all of these questions come from a place that produces fear.  Everyone of us will run into questions when we are about to embark on a dream pursuit.  When enemy uses those questions to make us doubt what we are doing for God, and doubt that the dream can manifest.  The one question for Adam and Eve was “Hath God said?”   That began a downward spiral of disobedience, pride and self.  We have worked too hard, prayed too hard, God has been  too faithful, and too good for us to to back up now by doubting what He has said!  So instead of backing up, first, let's answer some of those questions.

• FAILURE? If God called you, you will not fail.  Failure and success looks different in Gods eyes.  He uses everything for your good and His glory, you will NOT fail. He always causes us to triumph!  2 Cor 2:14   
• DON'T LIKE YOU? If people don’t like you, you were not called to them.  We are all ‘bait’ as we fish for men.  Not every fish bites every bait, focus on YOUR FISH! Gal 1:10
• COST? Can you afford this?  NO!  It’s called faith for a reason.  Purpose projects point to God’s provision, but God is not stuck in human commerce.  He can give you favor, creative ideas, or just cause your existing funds to cover more than you thought.  2 Cor 9:8

Always remember God will not give the glory to anyone for what He is doing in you.  Even if it means you have to launch your plan without everything you thought would make it successful.  Try Him...  He will cause you to be successful with less.

If you have questions about what you are doing, answer them with God’s word, not with your  mind or with circumstances.  When you are hit hard, surround yourself with people who know His word well enough to answer them for you!   God has  got you-  it is time to move forward. 

FINISH STRONG  

We are close, but this year is not done yet!  If we were about to take off in a plane, you want every bit of your runway to be down before you hit optimum speed.  December is the last bit of ground to lay before taking off in 2020.  For me, I have been working on this project for six months, and December is month seven.  Seven is the number of COMPLETION which mans January 2020 will be month eight… the number of NEW BEGINNINGS!  Time to take off!

Whatever God has you working on, keep going, don’t slow down, don't allow discouragement to get you off track,  or to derail you.  Know when it is time to turn that corner and when it is time to change your lane.  Hang on to God, and keep going forward!  Put on your seat belt folks, cause we are shifting our gears, pressing our accelerators and we have plans to FINISH STRONG!!

2020 Here we come! 

"Dear God, Thank You!"

Dear God,

I know we talk every day, and you already know what I am about to say, but it still needs to be said.  Thank You.  

Thank You for loving me, for keeping me when I wasn't sure I could be, or wanted to be kept.  Thank You for saving me early enough that I didn't have time to get involved in things that could mar me for life.  Thank You for all the people over the years that have given me insight, direction, rebuke and mercy.  

Thank You for my family and for the genuine love we have for each other even though we are so different.  Not only did you bless me with good parents, you also blessed me with good sound siblings.  Each one gifted and valuable in their own way.  Thank You for blessing them through all that they deal with from day to day, You have been there, and You have been good to them.

You blessed me with a godly husband and a ready made family of inherited daughters that have grown into their own, and even though the marriage is over, You still have allowed all of our kids to be at peace and connected with both of us.  Thank You for that, I know how important it is for kids to honor their parents, thank You for helping us to not make it difficult for them.  Thank You for keeping them and their families over the years, and for drawing them closer to You.

I also thank You for my biological kids!  They are both unique and a complete combo of both me and their father.  Thank You for the good qualities on both sides that they can pull from. You continue to watch over them and I thank You for that.  You have great plans for them and I look forward to seeing their lives grow closer as they grow older. 

Lord, I also thank You for my health, I love my age!  Especially when I realize that I don't feel it.  I thank You for my ministry, for vision and my purpose. You have designed me intentionally, and I pray that I will glorify You and You alone as I walk in all that You have called me to do.  

As we celebrate Thanksgiving and the end of this year, I know You are accustomed to us praying and asking for things, and truthfully, I too will be talking to You about the coming year, but if 2020 never got here, I want a personal record of appreciating You for right now!  You are great, and greatly to be praised, and I really do love living this life with YOU!

     

With a thankful heart, 

Me

"The Lottery! Why Win?"

Have you ever thought about what you would do if you won the lottery?  Tell the truth!   Well, I have.  That question has been answered by many when I ask them about their purpose- it was my attempt to find out where their heart was and what needs they would meet. Often, most answers sounded much like this….

“If I won the lottery, I wouldn’t tell anyone!  First, I would quit my job,  pay off student loans, bills, buy a house and get a new car.  Then I would set up an account for my kids towards college and beyond, bless my parents and rest of my family, (a onetime donation so they don’t come back)   I would invest and set aside for some charities and pay my tithes.”  

A LOTTO ISSUES!

Many believe that playing the lottery is wrong but play it anyway.  We have heard that it shows a lack of faith in God, and it's a waste of money.   We do have scripture that tell us not to “trust in uncertain riches” we have heard that “the love of money is the root to all evil” scripture tells us to “trust in the Lord with all your heart and not lean on your own understanding”  and finally “God will supply all your need according to His riches in glory, by Christ Jesus”.  All of this is true, but does it really speak against playing the lottery? 

Truth be told, we have more issues when it comes to our finances and playing the lottery is not one of them. We may not play it, but we may still cheat on our taxes, borrow money and don’t pay it back, we are in debt, lack discipline, we may be living month to month and have no savings.  We don’t tithe or give to the work of ministry, and we are not good stewards of the 100% we keep any more than some of us are good stewards of the 90%.  We skip church to get more hours  to “make more money” and often put our personal desires before God’s.  So, let’s be honest… The lottery is not our problem. 

IMAGINE WINNING!

What if you played and won?   What if you took the money you would spend on an unnecessary cup of coffee or donuts and played?  What if you put a plan together just in case you won?  The bible tells us that the “Wealth of the wicked is laid up for the just”.  What if playing and winning allowed you to expand the kingdom of God and do ministry on a grand level?  WOW! Imagine what we could do for the kingdom of God!  The apartment complex you could buy to house homeless instead of just praying they are warm when it is below freezing outside. You could create jobs for some who help run it .  You could offer life skill training, job fairs and help them get on their feet.    Think of the community center you could buy or build for youth.  Offering them tutoring, training and mentoring.  Imagine that.  My thought includes help for foster kids!  

I recently read about a man who took his over 50 million lotto win and brought a black business community back to life.  Another person built homes for homeless people, and another opened schools in a community that was hurting.  I love the thought of what can be done in this world and in our communities- but it takes money.  Money is not the root of all evil, the LOVE of it is.  If you love people more than you love money, imagine what you could do.  Scripture says that "money answers all things"  Money should be used to answer greater needs than just those of the person who has it. 

  

I love what Tyler Perry has done in Georgia, most of us would not have made that kind of money in our lifetime!  I am not trying to get you to play the lottery, but next time you hit an alter believing God for a million dollars, or pray for God to bless you with finances beyond what you ask or think.... understand that God is not wasteful, nor will He bless selfish desires.  God is purposeful and looks at the big picture, which includes drawing people to Him. What better way to draw others than to meet a real need.   If you are a Christian lotto player, or just a Christian, don't think small. Your needs, your family are too small a goal alone for God- there is a world out there that has a need that can be met at the same time yours are.    It pays to have a plan that is bigger than just getting out of debt and living large.  Think about the great opportunity to change something much bigger than YOU!  If you were announced as a mega winner, what need would your newfound money answer?

We should think outside our selves-  when we do that, more than just one person wins!