Banning Compliments @Work?

"You look really nice today!"

"Is that a new hair cut?  It suits you!"

"You look like you have lost weight, good for you!"

"That dress looks really nice on you!"

"What cologne are you wearing?  Smells good!"

"That is a good color for you!  Brings out your eyes!"

There was a time that comments like this were normal camaraderie in our work places.  They were genuine words that showed signs of connecting with each other outside the humdrum of tasks and deadlines.  The words were short, sweet and basically just NICE.

There is a current debate about whether or not to compliment coworkers.  In this climate where so much has gone on in the work place, companies are not wanting to expose themselves to situations that can ruin their reputation or cause legal issues.  Things have been said  between staff members or upper management with sexual overtones,  and it has been brought to light how inappropriate it is.  People are running to figure out how to handle workplace offenses.  In many cases, people have taken the simple compliment and ruined it for others because their comments held double meaning.  So the thought is, no more compliments at work!  Are we going too far?  

IT'S NICE TO BE NICE

I think when we look at it, it is nice to be nice.   It is kind to notice people at work and to encourage them in this life.  We hear so much about the drudgery of Mondays and work weeks, deadlines and power struggles; and we spend most of our day around these folks!  We have all heard stories of how a simple compliment encouraged someone.  Simple words spoken at the right time, that actually brought tears to someone's eyes at the perfect moment.  If we are not careful, we can be setting ourselves up to miss opportunities to be effective at work.  Don't get me wrong, I don't think that your dress or tie is what helps us be effective, but our ability to connect with each other does.  Even as believers, we  look for ways to begin conversations with people- and we all know people like talking about themselves.  If we get so sensitive that we cannot openly talk to each other, trust me it will trickle down and hinder our overall ability to connect.  No one wants to talk ONLY about work, even at work.

DEAL WITH THE REAL PROBLEM!

Sometimes we over react because we don't want to really deal with the people who are actually causing the problems.  Instead we apply a general rule that makes no real sense at all - to make it look like we are addressing the issue.  Instead of banning simple compliments, we should focus on sensitivity training for staff and upper management as to how to conduct ourselves in the work place.  And when someone, anyone does not adhere to it, they become the example of what happens.   Yes, we need to deal properly with people who say things that are inappropriate,  but if the majority of  us are simply connecting to make life more pleasant  for each other in an unpleasant world, that we don't need to ban.

Action must be taken because we do have a problem... one group is guilty of UNDER-REACTING,  but we won't really help the atmosphere of our work places if we  OVERREACT.    

Proverbs 25:11

Don't Give Up: "A Lesson from Andre Ingram"

 

Life is not easy.  Life does not guarantee that after much work, we will see  results quickly or really at all.  That's life and that is the reason many of us quit before we get to see success.  That happens in relationships, in business and in our personal pursuits.  There are no guarantees.

But every so often we are encouraged and empowered by someone who stayed in the fight and got to see what they wanted.  This is true with Andre Ingram.  If you are a sports fan you already know his story, if you are not you need to. 

Mr. Ingram is a 32 year old man who just walked into what he has been working towards for years.  He always wanted to play in the NBA, but it was not happening.  He played in what is called the G-league.  The older he got, the less likely it seemed that his dream would ever come into fruition.  But after 10 years of playing in other leagues, watching his family deal with financial challenges , thinking maybe overseas was the plan, he stayed in his lane and kept pushing towards what he wanted.   It is hard enough to push towards something when the end result is in your hands, it is another thing to push forward when the decision is not on you, but on someone else; someone who is busy and may not even notice your work or your sacrifice.  But don't give up!   

After years of hoping, working and keeping the prize in mind, he was contacted by the LA Lakes and asked to play in their final games: and BOY DID HE PLAY!  You will have to look him up to see the scoring and game that he brought that day! It was as if he finally got to show people what was in him all along, and he did.  

Many times we get discouraged because it doesn't seem that people really see the gift in us, or the purpose that we are pursuing.  Don't be moved by that.  Be moved by the fact that you have the gift, and it will make room for you....eventually.  In the mean time, make room for yourself.  Find places to use your gift, create opportunities to bless others and when your time comes.... don't hold back!  That is not the time to get an attitude about how long it took, that is not the time to negotiate yourself out of an opportunity, that is the time to  LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE!   Once you have been given your day on the stage, it is time to move over and give God all the glory!   I really was inspired by this story and if you look him up, you will be too.  In the meantime, here are a few lessons I got from Mr, Andre Ingram:

Lessons  From Andre

1) Don't give up on your dream or what God has shown you.
2) Keep your skills current by using them wherever you can, be a blessing every day.

3) When your time comes.... SHINE!  Stay humble but bring it all and leave it all! 

4) Always give God glory, in the good times or bad, because He is always WORTHY! 

As far as Mr. Ingram and his family are concerned, we don't know where this path will lead, how long he will enjoy this journey, but that's LIFE... there are no guarantees.  But one thing for sure, the lessons we can learn from this are epic.

2 Timothy 4:2  "Be prepared in season and out of season.." 

    Congratulations Mr. Ingram!   

Avoiding Identity Theft!

We have all been warned about our identity.  We have been told to guard our credit reports, keep our credit cards and pin numbers private and to avoid questionable sites when purchasing.  We know this, we do this, but sometimes, we still are subject to  IDENTITY THEFT.  

Criminals are getting bolder in their attempt to scam us.  They call the elderly and pretend they need personal information to help us. This can result in a scam that can cost us dearly.  Others pretend to be IRS agents calling to collect on a debt; but somehow... this government agency does NOT have your social security number or address??   Scams and identity theft are the new norm for people to gain a lifestyle they want, at someone else's expense. 

IDENTIFYING WITH CHRIST 

This thought of operating under an identity that is not yours is not new. The bible talks about the Seven Sons of Sceva- they thought they could benefit from a relationship with Jesus that they did not have.   

"God did extraordinary miracles through Paul, so that even handkerchiefs and aprons that had touched him were taken to the sick, and their illnesses were cured and the evil spirits left them. Some Jews who went around driving out evil spirits tried to invoke the name of the Lord Jesus over those who were demon-possessed. They would say, “In the name of the Jesus whom Paul preaches, I command you to come out.”  Seven sons of Sceva, a Jewish chief priest, were doing this.  One day the evil spirit answered them, “Jesus I know, and Paul I know about, but who are you?” Then the man who had the evil spirit jumped on them and overpowered them all. He gave them such a beating that they ran out of the house naked and bleeding."  

Acts 19:11-16

There is really nothing new under the sun. 

Do you realize that every day we live a life that we have not earned?   A life that was paid for by another?  Every day we enjoy benefits of a debt being paid and we didn't have to lift a finger to pay, we just had to accept it.  The bible says that Jesus made Himself of no reputation and willing took on our sins.  So today my life is hid in Him, He has paid for all that I enjoy today.  My identity is now in HIM, the only difference is that I didn't have to steal it, He willingly gave it to me. 

IMPORTANCE OF IDENTITY 

Our identity is important, especially in Christ.  As believers we know that who we are is not determined by what we do, but what we do is determined by who we are.  If we don't know WHO WE ARE, we don't really know what to do!  Certain things we can avoid because of who we are.  Even when we mess up and find ourselves in a bad place, WHO WE ARE calls to us, it reminds us we are better than that.   Much like the prodigal son, even in his lowest point, he remembered.   I GOT A DADDY WHO LOVES ME AND HAS MORE THAN ENOUGH!  I am His child and He will provide for me.

SECURE YOUR IDENTITY!

So if you find yourself lost or living beneath your means, remind yourself who you are.  The righteousness of God in Him,  The head and not the tail, A Child of God, an Ambassador of Christ, His Beloved.   Don't allow the enemy to steal from you an identity that has been freely given to you and paid for by the One who loves you.  He only has good intentions for you and He has given us His identity as a child of God, we have access that we have not earned, don't let the enemy rob you of that.  Live your best life in Him!   

I Say "Arm Our Teachers!"

I know this may sound very different than you may believe, but I say "Arm Our Teachers!"  In recent years, we have seen the fear and uncertainty in the eyes of our children, and as parents... most of us will do anything to ensure they are safe, unafraid and well.  It is our job to ensure they make it in this world, physically, mentally, spiritually, and educationally.   That is what parents do.  After the school shootings that have flooded our news feeds and hearing the voices of children crying out for themselves... I say "Arm Our Teachers!"

NOT WITH GUNS! 

When I suggest arming our teachers, I am not talking about guns or gun control.  That is foolishness.  Why, because those same teachers are stressed with jobs, home circumstances, health fears, relationship challenges and anger issues.  Arming them could make our children safe, but it could also put a whole classroom in jeopardy of a meltdown; and we know it can happen.  We have seen videos of children going off on teachers, hitting them, disrespecting them.. and we get angry when a teacher does anything to defend themselves.  I have heard it said "But they are the adults."  Yes, but somehow some parents have 'raised' their kids to believe that they are adults, and they go face to face with their teachers and others in authority.  So arming the teachers with guns, is not the answer.  But I still say "Arm Our Teachers!" 

HOW TO ARM THEM

If we really want a change in our schools, let's arm them.

SALARY: With a decent salary for mentoring and molding the next generation.  If we are not happy with who we get, put the money in to get better.  Either way, value those who spend most of their day with OUR KIDS teaching them the things we are not equipped to teach.  Money answers a lot of things, it can help us arm teachers to be more effective.

SUPPLIES: Teachers should not have to pull from their already slim pockets to provide what is necessary to teach our children.  They should be free to be creative and productive in the classroom.  Again put money in a fund and make it available for those teachers who have ideas and skills to take our kids to another level!  Have incentive for those who want to think and teach outside the box, but the right now the box is empty.  Our children deserve to be updated with information  and supplies that are current.  That should be the norm.  I remember sitting in on a bond meeting for a school district right when they were introducing laptops for every child in their High schools.  The creative ideas they had to keep their students relevant were amazing, but costly.  In that district it passed because people understood the need.  We have to put things in place for ALL schools.

SUPPORT: Parents, teachers need more than just a PTA to do their jobs well, they need the support of parents, guardians and the powers that be, to do their job.  That support may be our presence at PTA meetings, it may also be our trust that they mean well for our kids.  Granted, I realize in years past we have seen some pretty horrible things when it comes to teachers behaving badly, but if you pay more, you can draw from a pool of better qualified candidates.  Have support for children  or teachers who need counseling or follow up during difficult times.  Provide mental health opportunities or classes that can assist those who need it and inform those who think they don't.  Listen to what the teachers are saying is working or not working for their kids.  Children learn differently, but they can learn.  That teacher should be empowered to ensure it happens. 

SPANK:  (Okay, that was extra, but it began with a "S").  

We are not supposed to 'spank" any more, but we do need to discipline our OWN kids!  If they do not respect us, they will not automatically respect other authorities.  Whether it is the teachers, law enforcement or even their future employers, our children feel they do not have to respond to anyone if they do not want to.   No classroom should be held captive by a student that insists on disrupting it, or a parent who refuses to intervene.  There are 'how many' children in the class that came to learn?  We owe them the opportunity to learn.  

SECURITY: Last of all, if we really want to see a change, yes arm someone.  Arm trained security officers to be present in the schools to assist with disruptions in the classrooms, to confront any person who should not be on campus, and for those instances that we have seen turn into active shooters.  Secure the facility with inconspicuous metal detectors, and have guidelines for what kids can bring or not bring to school.  When there is a problem with a child or teacher, don't ignore it, deal with it!  Have a forum where parents can confidentially give info if they are concerned about their own child possible acting out. 

I love teachers, I love that they continue to do a job that is often thankless, difficult and not always celebrated.  Sometimes the best appreciation they get is from the children they see years later - thanking them for being there, for being firm with them when they were hard headed, for believing in them when they didn't believe in themselves and for teaching them. 

Instead of arming our teachers to guard our children, 

we should  arm them so they can TEACH them.