"Living to Die and Outliving Death"

Death is not a fun topic but life forces us to talk about it. No matter how uncomfortable it is to deal with, we will eventually have to because death happens.  It happens too early,  too drastic, too often,  and on occasion it slows down,  lingering at the outskirts of life -  almost mocking us. Death is not prejudice, it is not racist, it is not partial, or impressed by your lifestyle or accomplishments.  No matter how much we hate death, it continues to live.  

Many of us are thrown when somebody we view as successful, and legendary passes away suddenly.  Maybe it's because they are NOT supposed to just die like that.  We view them as having conquered some of the things that drain life from us.  Their status or money can give them privileges many don't have access to like a better security alarm on their home, better neighborhoods, better vehicles, first class airfare,  the best doctors, the best lawyers, even the ability to hide when necessary.  By having security that follows them around all day, that caters to their needs at public events, and even bodyguards, they are often kept free from the daily fears we have just going to buy groceries . If you happen to find one of these people who treats others well, provides services for the underprivileged, they use their platform to inspire, and equip the next generation... they are really NOT supposed to just die prematurely.  They have every reason to be the one who gets to live long.  But we continue to learn that death still infiltrates life, even the best lived ones. 

LIVE TO DIE

If we want to conquer death, we have to learn to "fight fire with fire".  Basically, learn to Live to Die.  If we will learn to live to die, we could better enjoy the days we live instead of fearing death. When we understanding that death is going to knock on everybody's door , why act like it never will?  Take full advantage of every day, every breath, every encounter and ... LIVE!    In order to live well, while we still have breath in our bodies, it would be good to forgive quickly,  to admit when we're wrong so our relationships don't suffer long.  Love people! Be there for our family, our children, leave provision for them Spiritually, Mentally, and Financially, so when we are gone they have something to guide them.  Leave a LEGACY, do something that outlives us!  Legacy does not always require us to be rich, we may or may not be able to establish an organization, but when we can't do one thing, do what we can do.  Impact lives of those around us.  Change how they see themselves or this world and give them tools to succeed. People are the greatest project we can ever have, and they in turn, can give what we have given them, to others.  

Live your life to it's fullest.  When I say that, I don't mean go bungee jumping if that is not your thing. But do things that bring life to you, and those around you.  Enjoy the company of those you know, while being good unexpected company for those you don't know.  Go somewhere, see this great creation that God has made and meet people you may have never seen if you didn't on occasion leave your comfort zone.  Be the best you that you can be, trust God and talk to Him every day. Love  the skin you're in while taking care of it. Overall, live and enjoy the life that God gave you, and  when death comes, you leave full because it was a great ride, but also empty because you gave it your best.

OUTLIVE DEATH 

Lastly, I can't stop with just encouraging us to enjoy this life without thinking about the next.  You may not be a believer, but I am, so my life is geared towards living to die.  Death has no victory over believers, in fact it is simply a time to cross over from this life to eternal life.  If you believe in the finished work of Jesus Christ, then you know that it's appointed unto man once to die and after that the judgment.  I have had people challenge me and they say, "What if you are wrong?"  I tell them this... "If I am wrong about my biblical beliefs, if I'm wrong about what I think about death and the hereafter,  if I'm wrong, one thing I know is that I've lived good!  I have treated people well, I have forgiven people who have hurt me, I have spent time encouraging people who were hurting and helped them regain their footing in life.  I have forgiven myself for things I'd done, and I have peace when I sleep.  I expect that same peace when I leave this world.  I am not ashamed of this Gospel of Jesus Christ, and I believe that everyone's last moment belongs to God.  He hears what every heart prays and we can't put others in heaven or hell.  I am glad to be a partaker of His promises and His grace.  Everything is not perfect in my life, but I hold hands with Someone who loves me in my imperfection, while covering me with His perfection. 

I pray for all those who are struggling with their own vulnerability to death, those who are having to deal with the realities of it.  I encourage you to not the thought of death discouraged you.  Death holds no victory LIFE does; so live a life that says "If  nothing else when I die, I have lived."

"Equipped But Not Positioned"

I know this is a strange way to get a message, but I believe everything in life Speaks Wisdom, so bear with me for a moment.  Each Sunday at the end of service, I greet members and guest at the exit door.  The doors have a door stopper attached that we use to prop the door open so we are free to greet, and hug without the door closing; that is what a door-stopper does.  But over the years, I've noticed that the bottom of the stopper has worn down, and it no longer has the grip to hold the door open.  Since that is not the most important thing going on, week after week, we forget about it and prop the door ourselves.  There was a time that another door-stopper was put in place right next to the one attached to the door... only problem was it didn't fit the door, and would slide from the weight of the door, and we still would have to use our bodies to hold the door; while we hug and greet guest.  Since I love D.I.Y. projects, I planned to find a rubber gripper that fits this door-stopper, so it can help the stopper do what it was supposed to do, HOLD THE DOOR OPEN!  While thinking about that stopper,  my mind went to thinking about us...

POSITIONED BUT NOT EQUIPPED

The first thing I thought about was that little door-stopper, it was exactly where it is supposed to be, on the door. But over the years it has lost the 'equipment' to be effective.   That door-stopper is not in the way,  or in the wrong 'position',  it is just no longer works.  Many of us have a position in the body of Christ, or a title in our churches, but we have not kept ourselves strong, relevant,  and equipped to do the thing we have been made to do.  Granted, that was not the problem years ago when the door-stopper was first put in place.  It did it's job wonderfully!  We could kick it down and it would hold the door open in any position without a second motion.  What happened  to our dear door-stopper was years of use and environment changes. That door-stopper endured many changes to the floor it works on, carpet has been changed, tile has been replaced, and all along it kept working.  Many days of being 'kicked' down, called on to perform, and basically fulfilling purpose has left the door stopper ineffective.  As people we have to know when we need an slight upgrade or some "Me" time to replenish and repair.  We need to know when to accept a little help so we can be the best for what we know we are called to do.   As people we can talk, we can tell someone when we feel a little worn, and we also need people around us that can do the same.  The sad thing about the worn out door-stopper, is that inadvertently, in it's worn out state, it is subject to damage what it comes in contact with.  I discovered that this door-stopper is positioned, but no longer equipped, no longer relevant because of the changes that happened to the floor around it. It will need an upgrade, or a replacement part and both are available! 

EQUIPPED BUT NOT POSITIONED

Since I have a habit of covering both sides or my stories, here is the other.  Many people are equipped, but not positioned.  That is like the door-stopper that is still on the store shelf.  You have been made for a purpose, well able to do the job,  but you are not in position.  When it comes to a store, yes... someone has to buy you, but when it comes to us, we have to be available, and allow people to see our gifts, and offer our services to help.  My pastor said once "God is not going to tell people what you can tell them."  So many people are not busy because they are waiting for the pastor or someone to 'see' them, pull, prod and recruit them to be involved; but that is old and too much work.  If you know you have a gift, if you know you can help, step up!  Why sit in the shelf during services noticing everything that you are gifted in being handled by a door-stop that does not fit?  Your insight, your gift, your presence could make a difference in how things run. Each person has a purpose and plan- are you in yours?  I encourage you to not waste your time, your talent, or your opportunities to be a blessing and useful in the Body of Christ.  

EQUIPPED AND POSITIONED!

So, if you are not doing anything with the gift God has given you, get busy!  Time is not waiting on you, and if you don't do your job... another door-stopper will show up just because the need is still there.  I encourage you to be found doing what you are equipped to do, and if you are in position already, stay equipped.  Don't allow life's wears and tears get you to the place that you are ineffective. Keep yourself strong in the word of God, stay encouraged, humbled, available, and able to do what God has called you to do, and do it well!  

"Picking Sides- Two Sides to Every Story"

I remember the day well.   I was in middle school in Giessen Germany talking about a fight I was involved in at the Commissary. The confrontation was between a group of our friends, and a group of grown women.  These women were picking on our friend, and according to her it was unprovoked.  We ran into these women at the military base and they started yelling and made a step towards my friend.  Without thinking, I stepped between them.  After a few unnecessary words, a tossed soda, but no blows, we became aware of our surroundings, and we all walked away. Our group left feeling confident, because we were 'defending our friend'.  A few days later, while being corrected by an adult, my friend admitted her fault for the confrontation, information we were not privy to.  That was the day I learned a lesson that I still hold to today. DON'T PICK SIDES.

TWO SIDES

We have all heard that "There are two sides to every story".  Hearing and banking on one side leaves you fighting battles and confronting things that you may not have keen insight on.  It's hard to not pick sides when someone you love confides in you, especially if it seems they have been treated unfairly, or if someone does not like them; but if you pick a side from that perspective, you are more likely to find yourself wrong.  Even after my divorce, I didn't expect people to side with me... I have no side... we don't own people.  I am a person who went through a divorce, but God is still good.   I expect people to treat my ex-husband well because he is a great person- he is also the father of my kids.  I still send people to him for counsel because he is very good at helping people. Picking sides acts as if there is no error on the side you picked, and that is never accurate. 

Over 25 years, I have sat in counseling sessions with people without the person they are saying is the reason for their pain.  In those instances, I give myself to them and to their pain, I listen to them and try to comfort and give solutions that THEY can implement to get a God outcome. I give myself, but I don't give myself completely- I don't decide how to treat their 'person' because of how they feel they have been treated.  After all these years, I still don't pick sides.  When people ask you to mentor or counsel them, you have to know if they just want to vent, if they are rounding up a posse for a future battle, or do they genuinely want help sorting out their thoughts and feelings.  I may or may not ask these questions upfront, but it is always on my mind. Wisdom teaches us not to cosign for our neighbors, ( Prov 17:18)  if we really thought about it, that is almost the same as picking sides.  We are willing to lose something on behalf of someone else's experience.  Good counselors, good parents, good friends, don't pick sides... you can't help them if you refuse to admit and confront wrong on both sides.

WHEN TO PICK SIDES

After that unnecessary middle school confrontation, I was embarrassed and mad that I could have gotten in trouble for a friend that lied to us.  That day I made a life decision for myself... "That will NEVER happen again".  The only side I pick now is God's.  With my children... if you disrespected your teacher, I will deal with the teacher, if they were wrong, but your side needs to adjust as well.   If I am counseling a wife, I may love you, but how you treat your husband is your doing, how he treats you is his.  If you come to me for counseling, you will hear what YOU need to do.  If you want me to talk to him, bring him to the session.  We have to learn to not jump on bandwagons against people on behalf of other folks- even those we love.  This lesson if for friends, family, church family, counselors, mentors and even politicians.  Picking a side without considering what God has said can leave us without hope. Nothing can be resolved when every one is right in their own eyes.  When we pick God's side, we can sleep at night knowing that He will handle the results.  At the end of the day, I sleep well, I have no known enemies, not trying to make any, and I am not thinking bad about anyone!  That is peaceful and there is peace in choosing God's side.  So if you are in the habit of picking sides just because you love someone,  choose God's side.  His side is the only one that will hold up all the way to the end! 

"Introverts in Ministry"

“What’s the matter?” - “Nothing, I was just thinking.”  

“What’s wrong?”  -“Nothing, I was watching those people over there.”

“Are you okay?  You seem distant.” - “l'm good, I was thinking about what you said.”  

I don't know about you, but this has been happening to me since grade school!  I have gotten past most of this intentionally by talking more (sometimes too much), and doing more to be engaged with others. I have tried to be sure people feel loved and heard, and many times it works- other times not so well.  Some people don't believe that I am an introvert because of the job I have, the fact that I love teaching, and I am active on social media.  Being an introvert does not mean that we don’t like people, we are shy, withdrawn, or that we don’t genuinely enjoy company or going out on occasion.  It simply means that it takes a lot out of us,  and we may need time away from folks to gather ourselves.  Working in ministry people may think that everyone should be outgoing, and when they don't see you, it is assumed you are being 'anti-social'.   Though some may use being introverted as an excused to be antisocial, for most of us, that is the furthest from the truth.  

SOCIAL SETTINGS

If you are an outgoing person that dreams of your next "girls trip", or if you can't go a week without "hanging with the boys", then you may not understand the drain that social settings can have on those who are energized differently.  We love people and will be around them and really enjoy it,  but after a certain amount of time home is sounding real good!  Since every person is uniquely different, I can't speak for everyone, so I will have to use my life as an example.  When it came to social gatherings, I used to have a rule, "arrive early, leave early."  That way I would have time to speak to everyone, be sure I've connected with everyone, then when I have touched and spoken to those there, I could go home.  That wouldn't work for some events, so I would focus my mind on when it was over- and that would help me stay present for longer times. 

I don't like crowded gatherings like ball games, or Black Friday. (who does?.. Oh yeah, someone does!)  I prefer watching a football game on television than in person, I don't really enjoy loud fast music if I can't understand the words,  so concerts are often out, unless I am very familiar with the artist.  I even signed up for Grocery delivery!  That could end my opportunity to be around crowds, so now I have scheduled intentional shopping trips,  just because!  I love painting, music, gardening, decorating, writing, reading books and cleaning my house!  I also like simple gatherings with insightful conversations, and good food with  friends or family.  (preferably at my house).   So as you can see, being an introvert does not mean we are antisocial, we just have to figure out how to be social and not be drained.  

MINISTRY

Regardless to our personality type, ministry and purpose makes everything different.  This is where we have to admit who we are, find who God is making us to be, understand what sacrifices will need to be made, then when it is all said and done.... you can run home to replenish in His presence!   One thing I don't think is appropriate is to allow your personality to stop you from being who you needed to be in God's plan for your life.  We are created for a purpose, so who you are is great, but what you are called to do is greater and requires you.   Moses had a speech issue, he never saw himself talking to a crowd or even approaching Pharaoh on God's behalf for the people.  Yet God called him.  The Apostle Paul was different, he was out there, bold and boisterous, and God used him.  God also used John the one He loved, Rahab, Esther,  and even Jonah.  There are so many different personalities in the body of Christ, but the difference is the willingness to yield to God.  God knows what we need to replenish, and rejuvenate, and in Him, He provides rest for our souls.  

So if you are one like me, and you need downtime to empower yourself,  just be sure your up time is yielded to God.  Stay connected to Him and be open when He really needs you to stretch out.  Know that all the gifting in you is purposeful and needed.  You may still not attend everything event, and you may not look like a social butterfly, but the things you are involved in, MAKE THEM COUNT!