To Kill or Not to Kill- Remembering Harambe

The video was scary, but somehow it also seemed calm.  The young 3-4 year old boy looked up at the silverback gorilla almost, it seemed, without fear.  Maybe I couldn’t hear the boy for the crowd.  The most drama seemed to come from the sound of the onlookers each time the 17 year old Silverback gorilla- a critically endangered species, moved with the child in tow. Maybe He was getting irritated by the crowd, not the child. Shortly after this, a decision is made and BAM. 

Harambe is gone.

 Anytime we take an animal out of their natural habitat, we take on more responsibility to provide for them; after all, it is unnatural.  Even with my dog Zoe.  She should be living outside somewhere fending for herself in the wild.  But she gets a free roof over her head, food twice a day, fresh water, and on occasion, doggie treats if she shakes our hand and does a high five.   She is let out in the middle of night if she can wake me, and during thunder storms… she knows she can sleep on the foot of my bed- shivering.  In return for all of this, she barks and keeps prowlers away. Supposedly. Even though I have a security system.

We have a responsibility when we pull animals into our world.  Many feel in this instance, we failed Harambe.  He was in a manmade enclosure, minding his own business when company dropped in.  He has heard crowds before, but somehow this time it was more unnerving. There was nothing he did wrong, but today was going to be his final day in captivity.  

I’m not going to attempt to answer the complexities of this situation, I don’t know all the facts and even if I did, it wouldn’t change anything.  What is done is done, but here are a few things I have heard and something for us to think about: 

 

DISCLAIMER:

THE FOLLOWING COMMENTS ARE NOT NECESSARILY THE THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS OF THIS AUTHOR OR THIS BLOG.

QUESTIONS & COMMENTS:  What if the gorilla was agitated and about to hurt the child?  What would our discussion be now?  What if the child actually died?  Who would we sue?  Who could we blame?  How much could we make? 

Why would we place the life of an animal above the life of a human? What if a tranquilizer would only anger or stun the animal?  Even law enforcement understands there are times that your actions have to be lethal. You can’t risk the unexpected response and the potential harm to those around.  Should animals be exempt from that? Maybe we should have tranquilized the child so he would be still and not feel anything, or perhaps just shoot the child so the animal could live? After all, he is endangered.

Where was the mom when he fell in?  Standing in the crowd yelling “I love you” does no good when you are smelling the breath and body of a huge hairy animal. I’ve lost my child in a store before, have you?  I even accidentally slammed my child's finger in a door, not once but twice in one week.  Does that make me an unfit mother? My child moved too fast, jumped into the front seat before I realized they were there.  That was AFTER UNDOING the seatbelt.  The mother should lose her job in child care, after all, she misplaced her own child. Perhaps the parents should have been shot instead of the gorilla. Charges should be filed concerning the parents.  We have thousands of signatures on  a petition calling for parents to be charged.  (Funny but we can’t get some of the same people to vote) Death threats have already been made towards the parents.  Yeah, let’s kill the parents because the gorilla died.

 We are angry people.  And I get it.  I love animals too.  But I was never commanded to love animals, just to care for them. I am however commanded to love people.   People will always be more important than animals.  At least, in God's eyes.  

But let me get to the main point in this....  

We HUMANS are the real critically endangered species.

We have forgotten how to disagree, we have forgotten how to fight and make up.  When we think an opinion is different than ours, we are ready to draw blood. I don’t even feel right using a scripture that talks about loving one another and laying down our life for the brethren… it seems so lost in this time.  What happened to the people you could count on? Those who would go over board to ensure you were okay?  People who believed when you messed up, maybe you made a mistake, not an intentional act. We are angry, angry people.  We think with emotions not logic, guidelines much less standards.  If I want to shoot at you for driving in front of me, I do.  Maybe we have less patience with each other because we actually should know better.  Some things we do.... we should know better.

We are angry people, and until we find peace with God, learn to love each other and find peace within ourselves, we will continue to be angry.

In conclusion:  Today, we mourn the death of Harambe- a GORILLA.   Somehow, I believe we should also mourn the PASSING OF THE HUMAN RACE.  Unless we get back to the real basics of caring and loving each other, we are doomed. 

R.I.P.  HARAMBE.... It is yet to be seen if we will.

Take Off Your Hat, and CHILL!

 I recently had the privilege to be surrounded by a group of successful people from various walks.  It is good for me, who does not get out much to take time to see success in everyday settings.   It is great to be around people who know their purpose and are going forward in it.   At this gathering, everyone was kind and focused, they seemed to genuinely enjoy meeting and being in the company of others.  Except for one.

There was a person present who put a last minute damper on the event for a colleague I invited to attend with me.  For some reason they decided to tear into my friend for really no reason at all.  They didn’t like something my friend said earlier (something that all of us got an icebreaking laugh out of) But without knowing who they were talking to, they took it upon themselves  to berate her openly when she reached to greet them.  We were shocked.  We found out later that was normal for them and they had this type of reputation and has done similar things to others at gatherings.

I always tell people “God knows who to allow to go through things like that, I am so glad it was you and not me.”  Even though I don’t excuse that type of behavior, I try sometimes to understand.  I really try to understand what makes someone think they are high enough to talk down to someone else, especially someone they do not know.  

I read a book once that talked about the many hats we wear.  When we are at home with our kids- that is one type of hat.  We have another hat among our friends and peers, and another one we wear to work.    Many people have toiled to perfect their work hat.  Some have fought through getting an education, sleepless nights and missed promotions to get that hat. They may have battled with discrimination and gender bias to get that hat.   Some have been misunderstood and ridiculed by coworkers, but maintained their hat.  So when I think about this person and the role they now have in our city, you can’t help but think they EARNED that hat.  They probably are respected at work for their hat and often may need to deal with difficult situations to maintain that hat.  

I get it, but this is a word of wisdom for all of us who have a hat that causes us to be firm, stern or confrontational.

When you get away from the grind at work,

TAKE THE HAT OFF AND CHILL!!  

Too many of us keep that same hat on and try to deal with our spouse, our kids, our neighbors or strangers at a meeting! That hat has served you well when you have to collect funds from a client that is past due.  It may have served you well when you have to reprimand a worker that has been lax in their performance.  But the world is not your staff.  We don’t get the benefit, or understand why you are waving that hat in our face.  Take it off, and enjoy the benefit of people that can actually help you, or you them.

The bible says in   Hebrews 13:1-2:

Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters.   Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.

We never know who it is in our midst.  Someone who has a key God has given them to your peace.  Meaning, a simple word of encouragement from a ‘stranger’ may make a difference in your day, your life.  The scripture talks about ‘entertaining angels unawares” Meaning, they know the blessing they are, what they have to offer, you just don’t know it.  God has placed treasure in earthen vessels.  He has blessings and words of encouragement for us and it is hidden in PEOPLE.   You may never know the angels that you have passed up because they seem to not look or talk like an angel.  We walked away from that meeting knowing that they really didn’t know who they were in the company of, because they could not see beyond the rim of their own hat.     

 So all you professional go getters….Thank you for serving well, for sacrifices you have made, for taking your job serious and for causing a change in the world.  But at the end of the day, your accomplishments pale in comparison to what we think of YOU as person, how you treat everyday people when you get off work.  So next time you gather at a family reunion, or a company luncheon, maybe you are at a PTA meeting or ball game;  we know you have fought corporate America to wear that hat from work, but you are with everyday people who want and deserve the best of you.  Feel free to take the hat off, and CHILL!

"A GAP IN JUDGEMENT" -Taylor's Gap Year: Our Journey

It has been announced that Malia Obama is taking a gap year!  I have heard and read some responses that are both shocking and thoughtful.  A few people seem to think that this will cause other children to follow the same path.  Others think if they do perhaps if they may become lazy and never go back to further their education.  

My take on this…  we are such interesting people.  We often forget how to think whenever the media gives us a thought. Raising our kids has never been a ‘public opinion’ driven task.  Considering our child, who they are, what they want and are called to do should be key when making decisions.  Now I can’t talk about Malia Obama (who by the way has grown to be a beautiful young woman), but I can talk about my own child, who also has grown to become a beautiful, purposeful and adventurous young woman.

Taylor took a Gap year right after she graduated from a High School in Spring, Texas in 2013.  Her father and I never really heard of a Gap year, much less anyone doing it before, so we were concerned about why she wanted to do it.  Maybe it was our fault.  Our kids are heavy thinkers and often think through anything they want to do.  Since her father and I were separated at the time, maybe she was trying to be sure I was okay.  Maybe she had a concern about the finances, whether or not we could or would afford to send her to the out of state school that she desired to attend.   All of these thoughts came to my mind, but I had to push them aside and ASK her the question.  

Taylor visited one school she contemplated attending.  They paid her way and gave her a tour of the facility.  It was not her first time traveling alone.  During high school, she was nominated to go with People to People on their European tour.  She learned about getting along with other nationalities and learned to appreciate the differences.  She also traveled with people she didn’t know before the trip.  Watching her grow and connect with strangers made it easier to see her off on the 8 hour flight.   So when she visited the college in Kansas City, we were not really that concerned about her getting to and from the airport.  She researched everything and had all the contact info she needed.  

What we didn’t know was what she told us later.  She stayed at the hotel the night they all went out after seeing how the chaperone interacted with the other kids on the tour.  Not only was the adult supervisor drinking, cursing and laughing with them all, they basically didn’t seem like they were qualified to be the tour guide.  After seeing the environment at the school and the students that she may be there with, she decided that she needed a little time as a Christian to really sure up her beliefs before testing them in that atmosphere.  I could not have been more proud of her.  After encouraging her to pray about it along with the college she wanted to attend, we allowed her to take her- what we soon found was called, a GAP YEAR.

GAP IN JUDGEMENT?

After hearing that Taylor was taking this GAP year, one teacher asked her if we, her parents were going to agree to that.  She was ‘concerned’ that Taylor wouldn’t go forward in schooling.  She asked if we, her parents- would want to support her without a job.  We both laughed when she told me.  Like we wouldn’t support our child (especially after we encouraged her to talk to God and get direction). 

Some people thought maybe it was my fault that she decided to do something so unusual.  I am basically a home girl, meaning stay at home!   They felt maybe my easygoing nature had finally rubbed off on her.  Maybe she would find a place to work and spend years there, like I did.  But no, Taylor still had a drive that I wouldn’t and couldn’t stop. 

Even though she made the decision and thought it out, at one time, she began to think maybe it was not a good idea!  That surprised me, but after hearing so many people’s opinions, maybe that was why.  So, she sat down and planned her year. She signed up for a Mission Trip, something she was not able to do when she was in high school.   She added volunteering and ministry work to her goals and even taught in our Children’s Church and helped with youth.  She joined the art ministry  and was part of a few presentations.  She applied for and got a job that wants her back every summer she comes home.  Not only did she make good friends on the job, she learned a lot about herself, customer service and how committed or lazy coworkers can be.  (Grownup coworkers)  She also took a finance class; this taught her about credit cards,  savings, paying off bills etc.  Something I never got after school.   Overall, that year set her up for her first year of college where the work load was crazy!  She learned to make decisions better, cope with her fellow students, and roommates. She has learned to persevere after not getting an internship that she applied for, but she continued to apply, was accepted this year and will be there this fall.  She has been on a mission trip to China and lived, ate and slept in the mountains with the natives.  Though she enjoyed the ministry opportunity, she came back with an appreciation for life and all that it offers.  So when thinking about her GAP year, I am glad she took time to decide something that gave her time to find herself, her purpose and her passion.

GAP YEAR IS NOT FOR EVERYONE

Even though this has proven to be a great decision for Taylor, I realize not everyone can do this.  Someone was quoted as saying GAP years are for immature kids who need more time to grow up. That might be true for some kids, but honestly, again you have to KNOW your child.  If your child is already immature, I wouldn’t recommend it if they don’t have a path to grow up or a plan for the year that can give instruction to help them mature.   To us the GAP year was because she WAS maturing.  She was able to look at where she was going, recover from the hard work from school, plan for the next steps and work to get finances and life skills that she would ultimately need and use once she got to college. As parents, the best thing we can do is to know our kids.  If we have not deposited in them responsibility and purpose, it won’t matter if they go to college the day after graduating, they may still lack some fundamental character skills to deal with life. 

FINAL THOUGHT

I am big on helping kids grow up.  The bible never uses the term “teenager” that is man-made.  The bible talks about a young child,  boy or girl, a young man/woman, or an old man/woman.  So if we are raising our children, when they are young boys and girls, we should be pointing them towards being a young man or young woman.  For each child it happens at a different pace, it happens when they show they can handle the next step.  So, give your children the benefit of the belief.  If you have put in them the ability to use wisdom  and choose well, let them!  Trying to manage their entire life only causes you to have a dependent that you can't use for your taxes!   

Teach your children to talk to God about their life, to trust that He has a plan for them, and then allow them to walk in it.  If they make mistakes, welcome to the world!  We all have, the biggest disappointment  and mistake is when we don’t learn from them. 

So I say “GO AHEAD Malia!  Enjoy this journey, this is your life.  So plan for it, prepare for it and conquer."
To Taylor I say, "Love you Chica, so proud of you and I'm  looking forward to all that God will do in and through you!"