Love Your Neighbor?

 

THE DOG

He was really cute.  You could tell he was just a puppy from the kind of happy look on his face as he knocked a hole in the fence. Even though his face showed innocence, his actions were that of a full grown boxer. Not only could he go THROUGH  the fence, he could also jump up and down (standing in place) and clear the height of the fence,  even jump OVER it!   Let’s call him Zeus.

As cute as Zeus was, he was a real threat to my garden, potted plants,  Zoe- (my dog) and any and everything that might unexpectedly find itself in his path.  

The first time he made his way over the fence, like a good neighbor, I went to his owner’s  to inform them that Zeus had cleared the gate.  There were at least 3 cars in the driveway surely someone was home.  No one answered .  After knocking for awhile, I proceeded to go back home, and write a note to put on their door.   I walked back around the corner, to their house and attached the note to the door and went back home. Once I got home, I went to check on Zeus to be sure he was not into anything, just to discover he was gone!  The neighbors had removed him during my trek back to their house.  So, they were home.

 

THE PROBLEM CONTINUES

As we continued having issues with Zeus, jumping the fence, we would often hear his owners fighting with him, trying to get him under control.  He was a puppy but strong.  We even heard one day that he was loose in the neighborhood, we were safe inside, but he was scaring the kids as he looked for someone to play with.  One day Zeus decided not to go over, but through the gate.  The hole was gaping, it would need repair and once again Zeus was in our yard sniffing around.  I took my neighborly walk to the house again, fewer cars, but this time I could hear the kids playing upstairs, that is…. until the doorbell rang.  Then, NOTHING.  I thought maybe they didn’t hear it, so I rang again. Still, NOTHING.   I stood for a moment in case they needed to see who I was, then left again, back to my house around the corner.  When I got there, I could hear someone fighting with Zeus to get him inside.   Later, I could see the image of …let’s call him ‘Wilson” (tool time neighbor) as he repaired the fence.  

 

Then it dawned on me…. They'll probably NEVER answer that door.  Why, I don’t know.  There are plenty of reasons neighbors might be leery of each other.   We don’t want people in our business, we don’t particularly like to be bothered with people once we get home from work or maybe we have other issues that make us avoid each other, deep rooted issues.  Either way, God told me to love my neighbors.  So, I tried not to think ill of them, they have a right to their own privacy.  As of today, Zeus either ran away to find a better challenge, or they got tired of him getting in trouble for antagonizing the neighbors on the other side.  Now Zeus is gone, but our neighbors remain.

 

 

THE UMBRELLA

Recently I noticed something odd in my back yard.  I came home from church, and there it was… an umbrella.  Not the kind we use for rain, an outdoor patio umbrella laying in my yard.  I instantly recognized it.  It belonged to Zeus’ previous owners.  The wind kicked up and must have moved it from its base, and there it was, in my backyard.   My first thought was to trek to the neighbors house to let them know it was back there, but then I remembered.  They don’t answer the door.  So I thought, maybe I can close it and place it on their front porch.  Or I can do nothing.  I chose to do NOTHING.
 

THE TEMPTATION

The temptation now is,  what  shall I do when they discover the umbrella is missing and look over the fence?    I can go to the door and pretend I am not home!  At least for the afternoon, or even a few days...  Whatever shall I do?  Will I finally see “Wilson’s” face? 
 

THE WORD

 A day or so later my doorbell rang early in the morning, and I answered it.  The ruffled woman had a really weird look on her face.  Almost like she pulled the short straw.  I greeted her, and she began telling me about the umbrella.  I chimed in nicely and invited her into my home.  Then we walked together to my back yard and I grabbed the umbrella and kept it closed it as she balanced it.   It was a brief encounter, but one that I am glad I had.  She apologized for the mishap and I quickly shrugged it off and blamed it on the inclement weather we had been experiencing in the area.   We chatted briefly about my hammock and umbrella that also  lost their bases.  We went back to the front door, she thanked me, and I smiled as I closed the door.

God tells us to love our neighbors.  He does not tell us to agree with them all the time, nor does He tell us that we will like each other.  But loving people should be easy for those of us that believe because Love resides within us.  In less than 10 minutes, I didn’t change her opinion of all her neighbors; I don’t expect an invite to her family reunion or Christmas party.  But for a moment, her perspective of me, no matter what it was at first, had opportunity to be challenged. Next time she still may  not answer the door, and that is okay.  Changing how people think of you means being willing to allow them to think what they want, and if you get a chance, you show them more. Don't expect a follow up blog saying that we are now shopping buddies!  But whenever you have an opportunity to enter someone's space, allow His face to be seen. 

 

Raising Responsible Kids in an Irresponsible Time!

The Umbilical Cord

I remember when my first child was born.  I vividly recall having a serious talk with her as she tried opening her eyes. I simply told her “You know they cut the umbilical cord.  That means you are no longer totally dependent on me.  Don’t get scared, I am not kicking you out!  I still have a responsibility to feed you, cloth you, ensure you are trained to handle life, and all, but, now you have to be totally dependent on God.  He is the only one who will be there at all times, I will do my part, and part of that is getting you to trust Him to do His.”

Since that day, I have echoed that conversation to her.  We have talked and laughed about me doing that to a newborn, but more than anything else, I have reiterated it to her by actually  actually DOING IT.

Gifts They Can’t Break

We really love our children, at least MOST of us do.  We like talking about who they look like and how sweet they are.   We love to talk about the strides they've made beyond their months or years.  We are proud when they take first steps, or start eating solid food, the first birthday cake mess, even when they make their  first touchdown.   Sometimes we show our love by the gifts we give them: expensive shoes, toys, electronics and clothes.  But what gifts  might we be neglecting to cultivate in them?

How about the gift of Love, Patience, Consideration, Gentleness, Wisdom, A Prayer Life, Respect of authority, Balanced self image, the Ability to make decisions governed by God.

If we give them these things, they will surpass us in this life.  If we give in to the climate of today that allows them to  think and act like everyone else, we have allowed this world to mold them.    Make a list of the qualities that you know cost much more than things, and give them those gifts.

 Privacy?

When it comes to kids, we have to talk about social media.  I see young children who have better phones than I do!  Not a problem, if that is what you choose.  But what are they really getting with the phone itself?   Are they learning responsibility or discernment as they use them?  That tangible gift alone can be broken and it can break them.  It can turn into a means that allows your child to take in more info and images than they are mature enough to handle.  The question has been raised:  How do you govern them and still trust them?  My answer, you have to do both.  First have a good relationship with them, be open and honest about what can happen and what dangers they may encounter.   Give a child responsibility based on their age, wisdom and understanding.  As they grow, give them more.  I have the passwords to both of my kids phones, (they  have mine aa well) and they know that at any time  I will ask to see what they are doing.  But then after a while that fades, because they have earned my trust. 

Roots and Wings

 

If we want our kids to be successful as we lend them to God, we must learn to give them roots.  Give them a home base that they always can run to, and it isn’t at your address!  It is in God.  They will need roots that go deeper than their relationship with you because one day you will be gone.  And truthfully we are not the standard for their lives, God's word is.  Our mistakes can give them excuses, God's word will give them a way out. His word will them  maneuver past our mistakes and will also help them avoid the generational pitfalls.   
We also have to give them wings.  The ability to dream and jump!  Following their heart as God gives them directions.  Some of what they may do might be scary, especially to us.   You may have to spot them according to the roots, but allow them to try their wings then enjoy watching them fly.

 Cleanser On the Sink

On occasion you can walk in a bathroom in my house and find cleanser with a sponge on the sink.  Because I am told that I am “A” type, you know it was not left there on accident.  It is a message to my kids that your sink needs to be cleaned.  I know when it is done because the cleanser and sponge will miraculously appear again under my sink. 

There is so much we can and should teach our children.  But in the midst of the spiritual lessons, don’t forget the natural lessons like bathing and cleaning!   Our children are not so fragile that they cannot clean, learn to cook, make their beds or help around the house.  Again, one day they will be on their own and you will not be there to cover them.  Around the age of  2, it was time for my kids to pitch in!  It started with picking up toys, putting their clothes, s, back packs, as well as putting  dirty clothes in the hamper.  This is not child abuse!  It is raising kids.  I told them there was a place for everything and helped them find or decide where it was.  I would sit with them in their room and give instruction or point to where things went.  This helped them learn with supervision so later on I could have them to do it without me.   Once everything is in place, the space is clean.   If we continue to do everything for them, they will never know the joys of a job well done, nor will they realize they too are responsible for their life.

 Challenge Your Children

If social media has taught us anything, we have learned that kids like challenges.  Whether the water challenge, cinnamon challenge, duct tape challenge, whatever it is, they like the feeling of belonging by meeting a challenge. Some challenges have proven to be dangerous and/or hurtful, but  nevertheless they've tried them anyway.  They may not have the wisdom to decide which one is good, but they like either knowing about, or participating in one.  We should join in as parents.  Challenge our kids!  I recall helping a family once who was having a difficult time with their child, I bribed him.  Told him I would take him out to dinner, his choice… if he did better in school.  He did, we ate and he continued to do well.  People don't like bribes so call it 'incentives'.  Either way, he is now in his twenties and working his purpose.   I remember when my son finally got out of the car seat, the challenge was “Every time you put your seat belt on before I ask you.. I will give you a quarter.”   I lost a little bit of money, but one day he said “Okay mommy, you don’t have to do that anymore, I get the picture.”  I now have automatic seatbelt wearers in the house. The world has caught on to the appeal of challenges, we should too. Do what you can to challenge your kids to do what is right.   

Lend them to God

“I prayed for this child,  and the LORD has given me what I asked Him for: Therefore  I have lent him to the LORD; as long as he lives he will be lent to the LORD....” – (1 Samuel 1:27-28)

I used hear  that children are ‘LENT” to us by God.  But when I studied for myself the scripture really says that WE lend them to God! 

Who would lend something precious  to someone who you knew would ruin it?  If you are a reckless driver, you will NOT be driving my car.  So it is not that God lends us His children, but we lend them to HIM.  When we do, He gives them back to us better than they would ever have been without Him.  He has the resources and knowledge to mold them into people that we never thought they could be, but He always knew they would.   Sometimes we get so caught up on giving them what we never had, we neglect to give them what we did have.  We try so hard to give them freedoms that we didn’t have and don’t consider that they  may need more structure.  We have to consider raising them by lending them to God.  By allowing His word to guide them, pointing them to Him, the only ONE who will be there for their entire journey.  He knows and will always do what is best for them, He loves them.

I encourage you today, whether you are a parent, guardian, or perhaps you are a mentor or person of influence in the lives of children... Take time to teach them responsibility and love for all people.  Teach them God's mind about authority and how to have peace in a land that might feel divided.   If we leave them to themselves, we have lost them. 

Our greatest natural resource is our children.

And the Winner Is......

DESIGNATED SURVIVOR!  This is a new show that I am planning to watch.  Meaning, I am doing what a friend of mine does by recording all of the episodes,  then watching them all at once.  Not quite sure if I can wait that long, since I have already watched two of them, and I really like the plot.  What I like about this show, is the uncertainty of it all.  During a state of the union, this man is moved to a safe place, away from where the other political leaders are... 'just in case'.  Then all hell breaks loose, an attack that leaves  the country without it's leaders.  He is left to rule the country, feeling unqualified, with no experience, no support and no confidence.    When I cheated and watched a few episodes, he was impressing me.  He did things that were not popular to the status quo, but it worked out.  There were a few missteps, but every day he was working with those around him and trying to make his country and his family proud.

FAST FORWARD

Real life has imitated art instead of art imitating  real life! With a few adjustments, we could make this a movie.  You, America and the world knows who has become the President Elect of the United States of America.  A man with no political or military experience.  Shock has hit the Democratic party and many others as well.  Pollsters were being questioned about what went wrong.  We assume something went wrong.  Or did it?

Guess what, this is our democratic  process.  We register to vote, we vote and we elect.  I have heard many complain that the problem is that people didn't vote,  actually they did, and they voted for Donald Trump.  You may not understand why they did, but more voted  for him than they did for her.  

Some were expecting a great fall out and tantrum if Mr. Trump didn't win.  Well here we are... some of us are now the ones having tantrums. Think about it... with everything that has surfaced over the past few months... he still won!  That gives you the pulse of Americans, something is wrong.  And even though race issues and bullying tactics came into play, somehow Americans were still willing to vote for him. 

THE POWER OF A SECRET BALLOT

One thing that contributed to this surprise win, was the secret ballot. We have the right to vote however we want.  We just don't have to talk about it.  Some people were either silent during this process, or verbally appalled but still decided based on wherever their convictions lie,  to vote how they voted.  That is the power of the secret ballot.  You never have to reveal how you voted.  It allows us to still have harsh conversations with our friends and family, and vote our conscience.   Many would LOVE to believe that this was a win for racism, feminism or bullying.  But it is a win for those who voted for him. It also shows us who we are as people.  We are tired of business as usual. 

In God we Trust?

We are watching people respond in various ways on social media. There are images of tears, threats to move out of the country, protesting, riots, anger and  complete dismay.  News anchors were stumbling over their words. But what is your response?

If  you are a believer,  stop trying to respond like the world!  We don't need God anymore today than we did yesterday. We won't need him tomorrow anymore than we do today.  To be honest, the things that have messed our world up more than anything are the things WE have done.  Not who was president. Yes, there are a lot of things that have been said and done that may concern you, but that is normal too.  You have learned to trust God on jobs that didn't receive you, relationships that broke your heart and people that hated you.  This is not worse than some things we have made it through. 

DO you really believe that God is in control? Do you believe this is the day the Lord has made?  Are you rejoicing? Do you believe no weapon formed against you will prosper? Do you believe the heart of the king is in God's hands?   If you don't believe God is still God, stop quoting Him, and tell Him you think He lied to you.  But if you know your God, trust Him and stop giving the impression that you are so worried about whether or not He can keep you.

Bring Your Mind  In

We had our moment of shock, now It is time to bring your mind back.

We have our own DESIGNATED SURVIVOR.  A man that has no prior political experience and many in his own party have abandoned him.  Now, watch and see what God does. I am actually excited to see how this plays out, there may be interesting twists and cliff hangers, but it is not  a movie, so pray!  Those Christians and pastors that were ridiculed for supporting him, now have his ear.  With a republican congress and a few seats on the supreme court, this is the time to see what issues are on the table that move God's heart, not just ours.  See what changes can be made for the glory of God. We won't like everything, but we never have. It is time to rally behind God's agenda and time to concede to God and let Him know, we are good.  Act like you won this election, because whether or not you realize it.... you did.

Father, we will obey You and pray for our President Elect Donald Trump and all our leaders.  For every negative word we have said about him, we now pray for him.  We pray for wisdom, direction, we pray you will give him advisors after YOUR heart who will instruct him in the way to go.  We pray for protection for him and his family, for unity within his party and in our nation.  Lord, he has been given a huge advantage in congress and with the supreme court.  We pray that YOUR will be done.  Use him for your glory, in Jesus name, amen.

Congratulations President Elect Donald Trump! 

Double Minded Decisions!

Decisions. 

Everyday we are faced with them in one form or another.  Sometimes they are as simple as what to eat for dinner, other times as difficult as taking a loved one off life support.  Either way decisions can be difficult to make and at times we can find ourselves doing nothing.  Sometimes we may inadvertently choose to allow the decision to 'make itself'.  By doing nothing, we don't really feel responsible for the outcome and can easily point the finger to the process or person that made the decision for us. 

The bible says this in James 1:5-8:

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.   But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.   For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord;   he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

One thing that I have noticed in this election, is that anything we hear in the news can sway us.  One candidate was caught on tape, polls down for them, up for the other.  The other candidate has emails leaked, polls down for them, up for the other. 

 

This is not as much an indictment on the choices we have for President as it is an indictment towards us. It would be different if one candidate had NEVER said anything bad about women before and this was a new development; or if the other candidate had NEVER lied or used a personal server before. They are people with flaws that we all know about.  The problem is that we are easily moved, tossed to and fro with every newsfeed or post. 

  

The bible tells us in James that when we ask God for direction and begin to doubt, 'it is like a wave of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind.'  That means we are subject to whatever blows our way.  Being that unstable means that we forfeit God's move on our behalf.  "For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord;   he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways."

 

This is the same in your everyday life.  God desires to give you wisdom.  Not just for this election, but for life.  He makes Himself available for us for every decision.  The bible says to "Acknowledge Him in all your ways, and He will direct your path."  That is a promise for you and I.  You can ask Him about the simple things and the most difficult.  I talk to Him about how I drive, how I interact with people on my job and even how to raise and encourage my kids.  Life was never meant for us to go alone, He is there.  To make good decisions in the past,  I used to put a PRO and CON list together.  I would list what looked good for me and my family, what was good for others and what about the decision would glorify God. If I discovered I was the only one benefitting, then I knew my decision was probably selfish.  I would also think in terms of my purpose and what God called me to do.  That helps us when deciding.  Of course, glory to God always gets extra bonus!  Then I would pray about my list and ask God for directions, especially since His ways are not mine.  God always helps me, even afterwards when I feel unsure.  I hold onto the fact, I asked my Daddy God, and He always comes through.

 

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach,

 and it will be given to him,  But let him ask in faith, with no doubting,

 

I encourage you today to seek God about life's decisions, ask Him for wisdom and trust that when you make the decision, He is able to guide you through every storm.  Even if the winds begin to blow and you see the waves of despair developing, know that if you sought Him and He has given you direction, He will keep you even in the midst of it all.  Remember the story of Peter walking on the water? Peter was actually walking on water!  It was not until he saw the waves and winds that he began to sink.  Jesus immediately reached out to him and caught him. And He asked Peter "Why did you doubt?"  Know that God is pleased by your faith, trust Him and no matter what, He will make it good for you. 

 

 

Oh, don't forget to vote!  If by chance you already did, .......  REST.