Newfound Freedom: "Planning In Bondage!"

“Settle down and build houses. Plant gardens and eat what you grow in them.  Get married and have children, then help your sons find wives and help your daughters find husbands, so they can have children as well. I want your numbers to grow, not to get smaller.”

Jeremiah 29:5 is God speaking to His people who are in bondage in Babylon.  They are waiting for God to deliver them, after all that is what the prophets were saying, but God sends a word through Jeremiah which is very different!   At a glance, this is not encouraging.  To have time to build, marry, have grandchildren, that seems like the bondage will never end!   Before you get discouraged, let me tell you what the message I got in the midst of my ‘bondage’.

NEXT STEPS

Freedom.  It’s something everyone wants, but many don’t know how to manage it.  Recently I was in the midst of a temporary assignment that I was locked into for a set time.  Longing for freedom kept me anxious, but also ready to be done with it all!  After awhile of waking and thinking about my freedom, it dawned on me… “you are wasting this time.”   See at first, I didn’t quite understand how I was wasting time because I was doing all and more in compliance with my assignment.  But the question was “What are you going to do with your newfound freedom when this is done?”  

I took that thought and while I was yet in the midst of my current assignment, I began to dream!  I started thinking about my next steps and the things God laid on my heart to do in my life.  As a result, I got insight, direction, I got tangible details that I began to get really excited about!  Now my time in ‘bondage’ was no longer being used to complain to myself and feel frustrated… all of my time was purposeful.  Not only was I handling my current assignment, I was preparing for the next!   See the issue is not getting out of whatever state you are in, the issue is taking advantage of being settled in something that you really want to end and using that time to plan for the next steps. When working in prison ministry, I was told often by inmates "We learn to Do the time, don't let the time do you!"  Sometimes God wants us to 'Be still and Know" and some assignments have us in neutral, so we need to take our foot off the gas, and use that time wisely. 

NEWFOUND FREEDOM

It doesn't seem like it, but freedom can be overrated.  The bible tells us "not to use our liberty as an occasion to stumble”.  1 Cor 8:10 Simply said, if we are not careful, we can find ourselves in a bit of trouble and a poor example to those who are watching us.  

I knew a family years ago who had a teenage daughter that was wanting so badly to be able to fit in with her peers.  Problem was that the church her family attended was for real Pentecostal.  They wore no makeup, no pants, no jewelry and no smiles.  She would try to use Vaseline on her lips as lip gloss or since she was Caucasian, she could hit her face to look like blush.  But nothing worked, she felt she was in bondage.   She went through middle school, high school and when she finally got to the ripe old age of 18, she was OUT OF THERE!  But instead of planning for her “freedom” she just went WILD!  Her make up was clownish, she had 3-4 different colors on her eye lids, liner around her lips with color and gloss and her hair was stiff from trying to make creative hair dos.  Her freedom as a young Christian became a new kind of bondage, because she didn’t plan what her freedom could look like, she literally went wild.  She married young, married bad, and began living a roller coaster of drama and bad decisions- all as a Christian.

That is what happens to many on occasion-  after graduation leaving for college, summer vacation, a bad relationship ends,  an empty nest.   We must learn to use our difficult time to plan for the better day, to hear from God about what is next. 

TIME TO PLAN!

If you are in the midst of a change in life, take time to pray, seek counsel, search and research creative ideas and things you can implement when you are free to do your own thing.  Build, Connect, Plan, Save, Sow, be Fruitful and Grow!  Don’t let freedom be the only thing you pursue, and don’t let newfound freedom become a time of stripping away good boundaries, because some of the disciplines you learned in bondage are not  all bad- we just have to  learn how to gather the good, and discard the bad.  Sometimes the situation you are in is a safety net for your planning stages.  It is time to think.

As for me, I am excited about this next chapter.  I am still talking to God, getting insight from others and writing down plans and ideas.  I am lining things up, because I want my NEWFOUND FREEDOM  to be great!

The Great Pay Off!

"On behalf of the eight generations of my family that have been in this country, we're gonna put a little fuel in your bus. This is my class, 2019. And my family is making a grant to eliminate their student loans." ~ Robert F. Smith

We all watched in awe as the billionaire announced that he would pay off all the student loans of the 2019 graduating class he was speaking to!  At a glimpse you could tell some people weren’t really paying attention, others it caught it at the end of his comments,  and still others were hanging onto his every word and their faces immediately showed it.  Either way we saw the relief, excitement and complete disbelief that took place in that arena; the hugs, tears and shock accompanied their joy.  I can only imagine how exciting it was to be a part of THAT graduating class! 

MISSED OPPORTUNITY

Life has so many moments that we wish we were part of, or we wish we could do over.  If we had an inside scoop we could've better positioned ourselves to benefit from those moments.  While thinking about that graduation announcement, I couldn't help but wonder about the student that didn’t make it to graduation that day was thinking.  Maye they didn't make it because they had second thoughts about the difficult process.  Many times we may feel we need to do something else because we can barely afford the loans that we've already accumulated.  Maybe there was someone who wanted to attend that particular college, and would have been in that graduating class, but circumstances or fear caused them to change their mind and settle for something closer to home or more cost effective.  I can't imagine how it might feel to know you missed this - that you gave up too quickly.  Life has those moments.  We often think we missed something and in somem instances maybe we did, but that does not mean we will not be successful or prosper on our current road.  If you or someone you know may feel you have missed opportunities in life, I want to encourage you today in two ways....

Follow God

First thing:  It pays to hear from God in every aspect of your life.  The path He leads us on does not always look the simplest or the neatest, but God promises to be there with us.  Faith is believing what God said, even when everything else looks the opposite.  Since paying off loans is not a normal practice at graduations, you almost would have to believe that God led him to that for a specific purpose.  See the heart of the king is still in God's hands.  People can plan and decide what they are going to do, but if there is a praying person involved, God uses that to answer prayer.  It is like someone leaving thier house and deciding to pay something forward, they know they are looking for someone to bless, and by obeying God, you can be the person who crosses their path.  Perhaps there is someone in that class that God has answered their faith filled prayer, and everyone else benefits from it.  Now they and all who are with them can move forward in an accelerated pace because of this burden being lifted.  Some blessings are for people in particular, and  others are part of the overflow of being in their company.   It really does not matter which it is, it just pays to hear from God, do what He lays on your heart and be positioned whether it is to give or to receive.

Following God is Never a Miss

We often hear things like "I sure hate I missed that!"   Maybe you are a  person who feels that in life there are things that you know you missed.  This can show up in our relationships, in job opportunities or being at the right place at the right time.   Well don't be discouraged because -NO you didn’t miss it.  The path you are on, is purposeful!  Not everyone will receive this type of blessing in their life, and not everyone will need it.  It is kind of like the miracle of healing that happens instantly for some and gradually for others.  The miracle is not how soon or how quickly it happens, it is the fact that  IT HAPPENED.  God is glorified by faith,  so living, working and paying your loans may be just what someone needs to do to learn discipline or structure.  It could be that God receives MORE glory from the person who walks through the process because is a reminder to those looking that it can be done.   I'm not going to say it is not exciting and amazing what was done, I will just say - we serve an exciting and amazing God.... look what He has done!  

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

 In closing what would you do if that was you?  If all of a sudden all your student loan debt was washed away, or all your bills... What would you do?  Would you be seen at a club partying and paying for everyone's drinks?  Would you go buy something you were saving for an just jump out there and create  new debt since you don't have the previous debt?    It should not include spending frivolously, it should include taking advantage of every opportunity give you and talking to God about what He wants for your life.  truthfully, if you already talked to God about what college to go to and what course to take, your next steps should already be in your mind!  To all of our college graduates, those with loans, and those w'ithout them, "CONGRATULATIONS!"   Continue talking to God and getting direction from Him. Do Go forward in the next phase of your life don't be concerned about any 'missed opportunities', God has you regardless to which track you are on, and know that it's gonna be good!

Saying "Goodbye" to DRAMA!

You have seen the movie where a couple in love are standing at a train station or in an airport.  The camera zooms in to catch their teary eyes as they attempt to say the words they are avoiding.  After a long hug, they simply say “see you later”- even when they know this may be the last time they see each other again.  These scenes get us every time because most of us know the difficulty in saying “Goodbye” to someone or something we love.  Whether we find ourselves at an airport, a graduation ceremony,  or when moving from one city to another…  It is hard to say goodbye. 

GOODBYE TO DIFFICULTIES 

Yes, saying “Goodbye” to things we love is hard,  but we don’t really think it means it is difficult to say goodbye to the difficulties and challenges in life.   Saying goodbye to DRAMA should be welcomed and encouraged, b   I recall a young woman that I literally have talked to and helped off and on for over 17 years.  One day I sat with her and she seemed to confident and sure that she had made a turn that was for the good.  I was convinced as well.  She showed me her paperwork from the doctor, notes from her counselor and one other thing I had never seen before- a Goodbye Letter.   When I first started to read it, I thought she was talking to me, or to life.  The way she talked about how much she had depended on this individual, and how much she got from them, how they helped her manage life and how happy she was when they were together.  She then took a turn and  said things like “I thought we were good for each other, but now I realize you used me and left me hurt.”  As I took that turn in reading, I realized she was talking about her drug use. As a once young intelligent woman who had the potential to soar, her drug usage kept her from doing so much.  Her hand written letter was powerful in that she admitted for the first time that she needed help, she was in bondage and her life would be better if she had not shared it with ‘them’.   She spoke of opportunities she’d  lost, family she hurt, connections and promises broken,  and dreams that were left starving as she feasted on ‘them’.   To say the least it was powerful… and of course it got me thinking.

ut sometimes it is not so easy.

GOODBYE OR SEE YOU LATER?

How many times do we neglect to say goodbye to those things that hurt us?  When we see things are not good, people are not true, situations are not beneficial, instead of saying ‘goodbye’ many times we simply say ‘see you later’.  I don’t think we plan to not say goodbye, because we are genuinely tired of the DRAMA, but because we keep going back, because we don’t close doors and we don’t cut off communication to the toxic things in our life, we basically are just putting it on hold for later. 

I am not going to pretend that it is easy to say goodbye, if it was, many of us would have already done it... but we have so much emotion and dependence on things that are not good for us; and it is not just people, there are jobs we should be finished with, habits we should have dropped, entertainment choices that keep our mind reliving the same mess.  If we are going to say “goodbye”, we need to do more than just say GOODBYE!  We will have to make plans to not see or visit that thing ever again.  To do that we must find a new core to hang with, and find something productive and pleasing to do instead, otherwise we are setting ourselves up for failure and a "See you Later." 

The bible talks about cleaning house.  Basically, when you evict an evil influence, and house is swept clean.  That is good, but you must fill it up again, occupy the space with good things, because when the prior occupant comes back, (and they will come back) they figure it is still available!  Swept up and cleaned just or them!   So they move in along with all their family who are worse than them, and it will take much more next time to evict them.   (Luke 11:25)

If you are struggling with a bad habit or the habit of saying “See you later” to your habits, hurts and struggles…  get help, connect with good people who mean you well and can help you get on the right track.  When you are tempted to return, remember the pain from the DRAMA and the peace from the RELEASE… which would you rather have, then choose.

Remember-  Your life has only one showing.  You will never have a second chance to live it again.

"A Mother's Day Letter to Mom- From A Foster Mom"

As we near mother's day, This is a joyous time to celebrate the women who raised us and helped us to become who we are today.  I am still surprised at all the men and women who LOVE their mothers and would do anything for them!  I am not surprised because I don't think there are women who deserve that attention, it is just that in these days, it seems harder to find on occasion.

I can't help but think of some current issues that children are facing.  we have heard the news of young children left in the care of someone who does not have the same heart towards the child as the mother does.  We have heard about mothers who do not have a good heart towards their own children.  We have seen children hurt, abused, abandoned and left to fend for themselves.  This is not what we want to think about as we near Mother's Day weekend, and it certainly is not what we want for children who are functioning without their moms. So here is a short letter to a mom, from a foster mom.

DEAR MOM,

I have fostered your three children for almost nine months, about the time it took you to carry just one of them.  I wish there was more I could do that would make a difference.  See providing a roof and food is one thing, anyone with funds to do that can provide that; but your children need more.  Their sense of security, identity and peace comes from those they love the most.  There are some things that I cannot provide for your kids because they will never see me like they see you.   I have been very intentional about making sure they know God, they know how to pray, (in fact, they pray for you every night)  I have tried to instill in them how a family should treat each other, and tried to make sure they know their value.  But even in the midst of all of that, there is still a great disconnect, a void.  To help with the deficit, I tried to connect with your kids by simply telling them- "I was hired by the state but I work for your mom."  I know that didn't set right the first time some heard it, but my focus was connecting with your children for their good, and to do that.... I had to connect with YOU, their mother.  I reminded them that you want them fed, to get them to eat good food.  You want them in their seat belts,  so I could transport them safely, and it was important that they get a good night sleep- when they giggle and ask me for a kiss on the forehead.  I really tried to keep you in the loop, because they really need you.  I know it must be hard trying to figure out who has your kids and what are they doing with them, what are they telling them?  But I want you to know that I have kept your children in the place where they can obey scripture and honor you.  I tell them to hug you and show you their school work when they visited you, reminded them to take care of each other because that is what you want.  I feel I have done my part, the kids have done their part, we just need you to get the help you need so you can do yours.  No one can do what you can do for them, even if it was not done for you.  There is a circle of people who will support you and help you get where you need to be. I know this because I am one of them. 

I will try to be creative on Mother's day to help them think of you and not feel left out on the celebrations.  Someone said, if you give the children what they missed, you can get them back on track.  I pray that during this time with your kids, I have given them something to help.  The main thing I cannot give them, that I know they need is YOU. 

Your Foster MOM

TO THE FOSTER PARENTS

I salute every foster parent that is truly trying to make a difference for the children in their homes.  I salute every one that does not take advantage of the system, but tries to work within it to help these kids who may not have someone to celebrate this weekend.  I salute those that have not tried getting rich in this system, but try to enrich the lives of every child that enters their home. Fostering is not easy, but neither is being a mother.  

Happy Mother's Day!

"New Mercies- Every Day!"

I remember years ago when I first took a Spiritual Gifts Assessment test.  This test gave a rundown on where you were from 1-10 in basic areas of gifting.  I did pretty well with Administration, Wisdom and Teaching but was very low in Mercy...  in fact, I got a whopping ‘ZERO’!    For those who knew me, it was funny to them, because we knew it was basically true.  But I always silenced the laughter because of my high score in Wisdom.  I would remind people that with wisdom, I KINDA know when I need to have a little bit of mercy!  

Lamentations 3:22-23 says 

"The Steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; 

They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness!" 

The bible reminds us that God's mercies are renewed every morning.  That is amazing to me.  As a Christian who is trying to be like Jesus, this is difficult to do, but I am trying...let me explain.

NO MERCY!

While operating as a Foster Parent,  on more than one occasion I had opportunity to be like Jesus. I will admit that some days were easier than others.  We recently had an episode where the kids did the 'posse' thing…. Meaning they joined together in bad behavior and work as one unit towards a common goal… frustration!    After a night of NO MERCY, and taking more than an hour to get them in bed, they finally went to sleep.  While preparing for bed and trying to catch up on my own bedtime routine, I really had it in my mind that we would continue this discussion in the morning- but God reminded me of what I told Him I would do.  “I will not have them pay for yesterday, today.”  

After I talked to God about this, every morning, I would wake them up happy, excited for another day and ready to enjoy the day.  See, I wanted to be part of them doing better, and not be a constant reminder of where they missed it.   So, the next morning, after the MERCILESS night, I finished my wake up routine, made my way into their rooms, turned the lights on, and  in this same space, that was a battleground the night before- I  gently said “Good morning guys!  It is Tuesday, Time to get up!  Hope you slept good!”  And our day began as if nothing had happened.

NEW MERCIES 

This makes me think about God.  How many mornings has He awakened me after my less than glorious night, less than purposeful week, or a day when I have missed it, and He wakes me up happy?  I may not be deserving of this opportunity and He could really rake me across literal coals to make me see the error of my ways, but He doesn’t.  God is always ready for a brand new me, a brand-new opportunity and a great day that I will enjoy;  a day to walk in purpose and succeed.  He gives me new mercies every morning. This is something I am beginning to appreciate even more,now that I have committed to doing it for someone else.  So, I get to thinking…  Wouldn’t it be great if we made this a practice in all of our relationships?

Imagine a couple that woke up without making someone pay for the problems of yesterday, but we wake up ready to be healing to each other!  A parent who is ready to work with a child who is having difficulties because the child is more important than the stress, they have caused them.  An employee who comes to work not trying to rehash the issues of the days before, but ready to be a team player that brings their gift to the table without poking fun at what others bring.  See following God for real is not for wimps.  This life can be difficult, and it really requires that we die to our old ways, our old thoughts and give others the benefit of the belief. 

If you dare, join me in this goal, to allow people to feel our support and our care for them regardless to things that may have happened in the past.  I know that some actions are not easily forgotten or forgiven, but if we can at least allow our mercies to flow like God’s do.  Let’s try to give others a chance to make their day better than yesterday; their decisions better, and their life better without an automatic attitude from us.  I will say that I have learned many lessons on this foster parent journey, and one of the greatest ones I am yet learning is how to renew mercies… EVERY morning!