"Trouble Won't Last Always- Deal with Your Pain."

When I write about the victory we find in the midst of difficult issues, I also find a few that misunderstand that victory.  Their pain is such that they think somehow it is easy for others to have victory because they cannot understand  pain- or better yet didn't experience real pain. That however is not the case.  Many have endured and came out of things that I personally could not imagine.  They dealt with pain well, not because it didn't hurt, they just had a different focus in the midst. See, like them, I believe that all things REALLY do work for good.  I don't believe it because I understand how it will work out; because real pain can have you second guessing God's process... but I believe it because God said it.  That belief does not make one more spiritual than another, it does not make one stronger than another, it just makes God move.  God is moved by faith,  and when we trust Him with what we can't change or fix, it activates something in the heavens.  Faith is the substance of things we HOPE for and evidence of things we DON'T SEE. So our pain may not be any different when we activate our faith in God.  We just have to  trust Him enough to deal with our pain. Here are three ways to help.

ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR PAIN

The first thing I would tell you is to understand that yes... you have been hurt.  Your pain may not be your fault or you may have contributed to it; that does not matter.  Hurt is hurt and we have to acknowledge it.  Sometimes it is hard because we feel isolated, violated or think we may be overreacting.  But if you are not dealing with your pain well, do something about it.  Find someone to talk to, get counseling, surround yourself with a positive and uplifting atmosphere at home and in general.  Some may have to take it to another level because there are imbalances in their body... don't be embarrassed by a temporary emotional set back in your life.  If you believe God, you will always have the backdrop of the fact that trouble will not last always!   We just have to outlive the difficult moments and surround ourselves with hope and help.  Push to attend services, events and have good conversations that speak to your future, not just to your pain.  Acknowledging your pain does not mean feeding it, remember if you feed it, it will grow. 

FIND PURPOSE IN YOUR PAIN

The second thing I would encourage you to do is to understand that pain has purpose.  It is often hard to see how when we are in the midst of it, but purpose can be seen in every pain.  It can be as simple as helping someone who is dealing with what we got out of.  We find people who join groups, set up foundations, speak publicly about the issues or losses that caused their pain.  The enemy thinks our hurt will be strong enough to stop us, and to discourage us  to the point that we have no strength left.  But God has provided us with His spirit that will boost us, and people who will uplift us.  Allow yourself to see past today and find hope in tomorrow.  One of my favorite scriptures deals with Jesus and His cross.  The verse says....

Keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith.  

For the joy that lay before Him, He endured the cross, despising the shame, and is sitting at the right hand of God.  Heb 12:2

Jesus endured the cross because of what was coming after it; what was promised because of it. The cross was supposed to be a death of shame, He pushed past that because of what was in His future.  We all have a cross to bear, your cross may be fighting to have hope after losing a loved one, another may be hope after divorce or abuse, some may even be as simple as not feeling good about themselves, a dysfunctional childhood or maybe a life that looks grim.  Regardless to what your cross is, understand that overcoming it holds POWER! That power allows you to sit down in a place of authority, and influence.  Enduring through faith allows you to now sit next  to our God who  then let's your testimony and experience be a help to others.  Look for purpose in your pain so you can endure it.  Joy is found in knowing that your trouble won't last always, there is a purpose in the midst of this.  So plan not just for today, but plan and think about tomorrow.

FEED YOUR FUTURE 

Lastly, I would like to let you know from a personal point - I get it.  I understand pain, hurt, insecurity, lack, doubt, temptation and shame.  I understand fear,  loneliness, uncertainty and loss.  But thanks be to God, I also understand hope, joy, forgiveness, redemption, provision and healing.  I know a God who has no respect of persons, He will do it for you like He did it for me and for so many others.  God loves when we look at Him and call on Him in the midst of our worst moment, He is not saying "Oh, now you want to talk to me?"  He is saying "YES!  Now I have his/her permission to move on their behalf!"  God is waiting for us to do like the Prodigal son and shake ourselves and remember Him.  So feed the part of you that needs Him, that remembers Him, that trusts Him.  Feed your future with Him, your future with others and your future with you. Plan to be better than you have been, stronger than you feel and more effective than ever!   Find someone who needs what you needed, someone who can benefit from what you have learned and feed them!  Remember the joy that is set before you and endure this  difficult moment, because your trouble will not last and your future is BRIGHT!

Celebrating My "Would Be" 25th Wedding Anniversary!

I remember well the day I was proposed to. It was a beautiful day and the proposal was extremely unexpected as it happened during a Sunday service. It included 3 Dozen roses.  Red for love, Yellow for friendship and White for purity.  A rendition of "You Bring Out the Best In Me" was sung by a favorite artist.  Many who were there that day would tell me about how excited they were.  The children I was serving in children's church were the first to see the ring up close.  The wedding itself was memorable too, we did what we wanted.  We made the bouquets, decorated, and family prepared the food. After the wedding I chose not to throw my bouquet into a group of single women,  since  I never believed relationships were a whim, they should be purposeful. So I presented it to a young woman along with words of encouragement.  Soon we left the wedding reception to enjoy a meal with our driver at a spinning restaurant.  The next day, we  left Houston headed for San Francisco for our honeymoon.  I remember those days well.....

September 18th would have been my 25th Wedding anniversary!  But I am celebrating ...ALONE.  See as of 2014 I am now divorced.  You may say "What is worth celebrating?"  "What is worth talking  or blogging about?"  "How can you possibly encourage anyone after they find that you failed after 20 years of marriage?"  

"What can you possibly have to say?" 

Well first of all, I am here!  I am doing well, I am not bitter, angry or seeking revenge.  I have pushed forward in my purpose and continue to encourage others to do the same.  I have great ideas for tomorrow and have recently taken on a purpose assignment that I have LITERALLY dreamed about for years!  I have published 4 books after the divorce, and I have a good relationship with my EX and his wife.  We don't hang out and go places, but we can at least make it to heaven and not feel like God did one of us wrong!  More than anything I can think to say, God has been faithful.  God has provided like the good Husband He said He was, and has been there through thick and thin! 

With my prior marriage I inherited two beautiful girls, 3 and 9.  They had huge personalities and were strong willed.  We had a few tough days, but I would not change it for anything!  Today they are more beautiful, more powerful and great wives and mothers. I like to think I helped a little with that.   That union also awarded me two kids of my own, both that I am so proud of!  One is adventurous, galloping around the world doing ministry, and is now married to a man that she can enjoy that with.  My youngest is still hanging with me for a few more years.   He has moments, but hey... we all do.   See everything about the past 25 years is meaningful. Life gave me a choice, I made it and lived it.  There is not a single year in my life that is not worth celebrating! 

THAT'S LIFE

Many times we allow life's discouragements and moments to make us into something we were never designed to be.  Every year should make us better, stronger and more able to perform our purpose.  This world is accustomed to holding grudges, making people pay for hurt they've inflicted, fussing and fighting people on our job that don't understand us.  We spend time talking about our pain and pulling together a posse of folks who 'feel our pain.'  That is a total waste of time and talent.  Life is life.  You have to live it and play the hand you are dealt.  The sooner we learn to let the difficulties be steps to a better place, the sooner we put them behind us. 

VERY PRESENT HELP

The best part about the last 25 years is the presence of God.  He has been there through challenges, hurtful moments, bankruptcy, death and health issues.  But He has also been there to usher in joy, peace, understanding, patience, forgiveness and love.  Scriptures reminds us that life sends rain on the just and the unjust, you can choose to stay in the rain and complain, or take your shoes off ...and dance!  

I would like to encourage you to not allow days, memories, or even dates on the calendar to mess up your moments.  We only get so many moments and we shouldn't waste a single one on anything we cannot change.  You have a choice everyday as to how you will respond to every memory, every experience , every trial.  Choose today whether you will wallow in pity, or rise up every day with a smile.  Today as I reflect on my life and where I am now..... I  Choose JOY!  Plus.......It feels better!

Yay Me!

Bargaining With God- "A Flea Market Approach"

I am not good at flea markets.  I know people who go in ready to fight, they go to garage sales or other businesses ready to negotiate a price that they want to pay.  I stand in awe at the nerve it takes to go and ask someone to change their price.  I found that I am not that bold!  

The first time I watched someone do this, it stunned me.  I stood and observed what I thought was a singular incident - they went back and forth.  When they were both slightly satisfied, they shook on the deal and exchanged money for product.  I admit, I left there slightly embarrassed because I had no clue that this was normal, or even expected at a flea market.  See, when I go, I  look around, see what I want and decide whether or not I am willing to pay the price they are asking.  Without speaking to them, I will make a decision and either pay or keep looking.  I always assumed that people set a price to PAY, not to negotiate.  I must really look like a novice, because sometimes they will stop me and offer me a lower price, and if I am willing to pay that new price, I do... or I thank them and keep looking.  I realize now that I am the one not in the loop, I just felt that if a price is set, it should be set to sell.  I shouldn't have to negotiate to change it.  That is probably why I don't frequent flea markets......

BARGAINING WITH GOD

So if we are used to being able to set or change the price in the natural, is that something we carry over to the spiritual?  It seems that things we do naturally somehow show up in our spiritual lives.  Whether you are like me and just accept the price advertised at a flea market, or by God, or whether you prefer to negotiate is neither here nor there.  You see it's nothing wrong with wanting to negotiate, but if the final price has already been set by God's word, can we really change it? So many times when we find ourselves in a bit of trouble, we tend to start telling God what we will do if He does what we want... 

"Lord, if You pay this bill, I will start honoring you in my giving!"   

"Lord, if You heal my friend, I will start telling others about Your goodness."  "Father, if You help me get this job, I will start going to church regularly."  

All of us have had times that we have tried to bargain with God, whether out of  habit, or in a moment of need. There is nothing wrong with that, we have learned that behavior as kids or as flea market shoppers, in sales and in life.  But is that what God the Father wants from us?  Is that how His promises are realized- can we just tell Him what we are willing to do?  No, not so.

THE PRICE IS SET

The thing with God is that He has already set the price for everything He has promised us.  Obedience. Loving each other, Repentance, Faith...these are things the requirements needed to uphold our end of the promise.  If we live a life that values the foundational things that God has commanded us, we won't have to try bargain with God to receive them.  The difficulty for us is realizing that He has already paid the overall price, our obedience to His word and taking steps to live them out is our portion required for the things in life we desire. 

His price is set, and His price is fair, but it is not fair because we can afford it, but it is fair because it is required from everyone, and look at this.....  HE GIVES US GRACE AND FAVOR in the process.  That is like someone setting a price, then giving us additional money to meet it.  So in this life we always have the advantage if we are connected to God. 

PAY THE PRICE- TRUST THE OWNER

Just because the price has been paid, does not mean that we will always walk away with what we are asking for.  We are not in a flea-market or a place of business, this is life.  His promises deal with our purpose - finding and doing what God created us to do,  and trusting Him to do His part.  Every true child of God understands that we are not our own and many times God will use life's unpleasant circumstances to make us better.  That means sometimes you will want a prayer answered, and God makes another call.  That job does not go through, or that bill is not paid;  that is when we have to realize that our FAITH has to kick in.  That is when we trust that we are His and He has us in His hands.  Remember Romans 8:28 says that 'All things work for our good..'  even when we don't understand it. 

So if you happen to be one of those negotiating folks who knows how to talk people out of anything, learn how to also receive from God.  His prices are set, and even if you fall short, know that He is not negotiating the price down, He will require us to rise up and meet His offer. But don't walk away, pay the price!  Your faith and trust in Him will remind you that His grace is always sufficient!

"Protesting the Power of the Protest!"

We are in interesting times!  Every day I get more baffled at the state of our world.  As a believer I have watched things I don't agree with, that the bible speaks against- become laws, I have seen companies rise and fall due to differences of beliefs and I have seen people lose jobs, endorsements and more due to the power of a protest.  Many companies have lost money and some employees have lost their jobs due to protest.  Protesting is powerful, sometimes it is petty, but powerful none the less.  The thing that gets me the most is our freedom to do it.  

FREEDOMS

In America we are told that we have freedom, but somehow it seems that freedom is going really far.

"The United States Constitution explicitly provides for 'the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances' in the First Amendment."  No human right grants the absolute right to protest, but it is manifested in the freedom of assembly, the freedom of speech and the right to freedom of association. 

UNNECESSARY PROTESTS

There are many things in this world worth protesting and depending on what you believe, you will find them.  I recall a company that was advertising their product, someone thought they should include more same sex couples in their ads and when the company refused... they protested.  It seems that a company should have the right to choose who they want to represent their products, whether same sex, or opposite sex, whether families or singles.  Protesting it was  unnecessary.

We have seen in our politics the need to vote ahead of time in every race. That is the initial way to voice your opinion for candidates.  If anyone chooses not to vote, then they should have nothing to say about the outcome. Protesting  after the fact is not going to work. Once in office, it will call for a legal solution to remove them.  In certain instances in recent days, we have seen protesters rise to the point that a candidate will remove themselves because of the outcry... that is one reason people keep doing it, it works sometimes.  

ATTEMPT TO INTIMIDATE

Don't get me wrong, I don't think there is anything wrong with protesting.  We have that right.  The reason I have issue with some protesting, is the attempt to intimidate. Some people really want everyone to think like they do, act like they do and do what they would do and if they don't... PROTEST!  Make them be what we want them to be, and believe like we want them to believe.  That is when protesting turns to an attempt to intimidate.

When this happens many may consider how their actions can affect their family, job or their money, and they may reconsider, even when we have good reason for their actions.  This is where the rubber meets the road in our daily lives.   Are we willing to take a hit for something we truly believe in?  Or are we only standing when there is no opposition?  They used to say 'if you don't stand for something you will fall for anything.'  Regardless to what side you are on, or what you think of his actions, you have to admire Kaepernick.  He chose an action based on his beliefs and went there. Not one time did he back up or give up.  His intentions were misdirected and misunderstood, but he still stood.   He has lost things, he has been blackballed in many ways and yet he stills stands.  (okay, he knelt) 

Psalms 21:4 talks about those who will dwell in God's tent.  It mentions "Those that swear to their own hurt, but change not."  Basically those that stand their ground even when they can be hurt, or lose things.  When they are misunderstood or even isolated; they stand.

A SURPRISE CAMPAIGN

The surprise in Kaepernick's story is Nike.  Who thought that their ad campaign would happen like it did.  Do you know what it takes to make that type of stand?  There is a price to make that kind of stand. The funny thing is that is is assumed that this ad is because they agree with Kaepernick, but we don't know that.  Every marketing group has all kinds of people working there to ensure that the ad works for the bottom line of the company.  There are probably republicans, democrats, liberals, Black, White, Hispanic, Asian.... so HOW ON EARTH did they decide to use him in this campaign?  Their stock has dropped a bit, there are protesters all around and many are destroying their products!  Surely SOMEONE on the team saw this happening and warned them BEFORE the launched.  This is not a new company, they know finicky people.  But maybe that was the issue.....

LIFE LESSON FROM NIKE 

Maybe we need to learn  a lesson from Nike instead of protesting the message.  I believe the issue is US.  The lesson is LIFE.  Many times we sell out when faced with difficulties and we let go of fundamental beliefs when it gets hot.  Ask yourself, "What are you waiting to do in your life?"   "What have you given up on because it got difficult?"  "What are you currently scared to try because of how it will affect you?"  Your life consists of many challenges that you will have to deal with, and if you don't get a backbone to do it before the storm comes, you will not make it.  Some of us stopped raising our children with convictions because we are scared of what others think.  Some have lowered our personal standard because we are on a job that has low standards.  Our nation today is fighting a fight that we pick sides just by default of party or association.  Maybe we need to go in our closet for a moment, think about what we believe and get a new determination to stand for it.  The thing is that your determination may be COMPLETELY opposite someone else's,  and hey they just might just protest- they have that right.  But you also have a right to follow your hear and do what others have thought you couldn't do.  So what if they protest and think you are doing too much.  If you believe it, and it is not putting anyone in danger or harm,  you should stand anyway no matter what they do..   You are made for a purpose, to make a mark in your lifetime, there are things you are designed to impact, changes that can be made to better your life, or the lives of others.  

Don't wait for permission, don't fear the protest.....  JUST DO IT!

"Believe in Something Even if It Means Sacrificing Everything"  ~Nike