"I Can't Breathe!"

If you think we don't have a problem, keep reading.  If you are waiting for change, don't hold your breath.  Once again we have sat in the comforts of our homes and watched a black man die at the hands of police officers that didn't care. 

THE VIDEO

I watched the raw video assuming there was only one man on top of George Floyd, but there were three, and a fourth controlled the crowd.  I kept thinking at any moment the officer would let up on him and they would put him in the car.  It never happened.  I could hear the man's cries for help, even sounded like he called his mother, either way... his cries were ignored.  I really had a problem with the smug look on the officers face, he was too comfortable. To find that this began with an alleged forgery- is troubling.  This was not an active shooter, not a robbery in progress or a drug bust.  If it was true, it was a paper check.

I couldn't have been in the crowd that day.  See society has been trained to not intervene in police situations so they were limited in what they could do.  Being a problem solver, I tried to figure out what I could have done.  I am not good at watching something like that happen, and doing nothing.  Since my mother was a police officer, I have reported, confronted, written letters, fussed at,  and collected badge numbers from officers that were out of the norm that I learned from her. I support our officers because she was such a great one,  as were those she brought around our house.  But if I was there, I would have been arrested or something.  I had to google whether or not I could make a citizens arrest on a police officer.  Finding that I could, I devised a complete plan just in case...  That's kind of weird seeing as we all have other things to be doing in life other than trying to police the police.  But someone has got to do it.

CHANGE FROM WITHIN 

Just to be honest, I realize that many people will not change.  If you were raised racist, prejudice or angry, you will not change just because one facet of society says you need to.  We don't expect government to change the hearts of people, only God can do that.  But we do expect government for the people, by the people, to care about ALL the people.  We expect that simple humane guidelines should be followed for any and everyone, and if we find that personal thoughts or upbringing hinders you from doing that, you are in the wrong profession.   

This incident as well as all others,  was unacceptable on so many levels.  Although firing is better than paid leave, even conviction, and sentencing is not going to be enough.   Many people have a voice in high places, but because it is unlikely that your family will be a victim of this, you stay silent.  We don't expect for you to become an full time activist and stay there, this is not what everyone is called to do, but we are responsible for the laws of this land and our voice counts.  If we can start a #metoo movement and have men arrested and put in jail over an alleged rape or sexual assault that happened years ago, CERTAINLY we can have a police officer or anyone arrested and put in jail for killing someone or using unnecessary force on a HUMAN BEING when we see the video today.  That should be followed by changes in laws and guidelines to stop it from happening again,   Justice is not justice if it does not happen, and it is not really just if it only happens once.

TRUE JUSTICE IS NOT AN ISOLATED INCIDENT

When asked what we want to happen, often we say 'Justice'.  But what exactly is that?  Someone being charged and sent to prison?  Death penalty? Life sentence?   Truthfully I have issues with only wanting justice.  See justice may look a bit like an arrest,  conviction, a suitable sentence, but it also looks like anyone who knows they have a volatile officer on the job also being held responsible for not dealing with them before something like this happens. It means having a process that makes everyone accountable for the actions of their partner.  It looks like changing how you train people, requiring more education to be a police officer.  If you put more into education, we can put less into loss.  Justice is not justice if it only works for one family, that means we have not learned anything that flows to the next recruit.  Actions towards justice should bring fear to those who would want to do the same.  Dirty cops, unnecessary roughness, and hate is only entertaining in movies.  In real life, real lives are lost.

SCARED STRAIGHT 

I remember years ago, in the 1980's, my mother let us watch the television show "Scared Straight".  We watched at-risk kids who visited local prisons to learn what could happen if they didn't change their ways.  It worked for some, didn't for others, but the attempt was given to change their paths.   I think today we don't have anything that scares officers or racist people from doing something that should land them in prison, because  we find it doesn't really land them in prison.  

If  you are someone who still thinks there is no problem, or if you are a person who feels privileged,  and prison doesn't scare you, be scared of this...  People nowadays are not the people of old who were scared of other races.  My concern is that this generation of "minorities" (who are no longer a minority), will not put up with injustices much longer.  When people thought injustice was just in their minds of the people complaining, and there was no proof, it seemed like reasonable doubt.   But this generation records EVERYTHING, there is no doubt anymore, and we can all see it is not just in "their minds".  

I can end with a solution that is found in God, but many people are not going to go there with me. Many may not believe in God and others may be tired of hearing it.  (though it is true)   If you are the person who does not believe in God, believe in this...  If we don't make internal, swift, changes, if we don't take inventory of  our processes and our unspoken "Blue Bonds", we are going to see more than riots in the streets of the city where an injustice happened.  Fear changes quickly to anger, and anger  with no resolve, grows.  

We can't hold our breath waiting to see if someone will do something when our men "can't breathe".  I pray we fix this internal problem in our government, in our police departments and society. None of us will be able to breathe freely until we do.  If we don't fix this  you may as well exhale and pray for us all.

"Treating Itchy Ears"

Due to this pandemic, its been a few months since I've gotten my nails done.  Many of us are learning to handle things in the raw... no extra hair care, no eyebrow work, no gym, and no nails.  Though it may seem challenging, I am finding that I may never go back.  See the problem with acrylic nails is that they don't scratch well. They look good, but because of the rounded edges and the nice finish, they don't really get to the heart of an itch.  So when you try to scratch in that hard to reach place in the middle of your  back, or between a braid on the top of your head,  scratching with fake nails does not satisfy. 

ITCHY EARS -NATURAL

I often look for natural things when seeking spiritual solutions.  God has used every day things in life to help us understand spiritual truths better.  So let's begin in the natural.  Some itchy ears are a condition caused by a nervous habit, a fungal infection or the beginning of an infection. The natural thing to do when something itches is to, well... scratch it. The problem with just scratching is depending on the cause, you literally only 'scratch the surface'. If there is an underlying problem, you will continue to itch until you deal with it.  Many of us are okay with the temporary relief from an irritating condition, but truth is, scratching the itch from an underlying problem is much like scratching with acrylic nails.  It doesn't work.

 ITCHY EARS- SPIRITUAL 

The bible speaks to us in 2 Timothy 4:3 and it says: 

"For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear."

One of the problems we have today is too many people with platforms that only scratch the surface of  life issues and they only scratch to appease the itch. If you have a true ministry given by God to help people, you have to do more than minister to itching ears.   See itching ears don't really want a solution, they just want to feel better about what is irritating them.  God has a solution for their itch, but they don't want it because it requires more than they are willing to do.  Sometimes it is because the cause of the 'itch' is  too fun to let go of.  Some would rather ignore the itch than to correct the area in life that it is coming from.  Yes, you could have had a brush with poison ivy, or a touch of something that was irritating, but itching ears can also come from a life style choice or a deeper condition that can become worse when ignored.  

If we want to use our voices to help people, the last thing we need to do, is to avoid the the truth, and try to  find a way around it.  Before we can be effective at treating the itch, we have to admit the cause.  That includes asking hard questions about life.  "Where have you been, what have you been doing, and what have you gotten yourself into? " People with itchy ears often want to avoid anything that looks like blame.

TREATING ITCHING EARS

"If people have persistently itchy ears, they should see a doctor to find out the underlying cause. People may be able to relieve itchiness by using a few drops oil."

To treat a outward itch, you may require a good set of nails, a good lotion or cream is a good balm for  itchy skin.  When the issue  is deeper you may require an antibiotic.  With spiritually itchy ears, it will require the oil of the word of God.  

If you or someone you know suffers from spiritually itch ears, it may be due to an underlying issue of disobedience or pride.  Sin seeks to be satisfied without being confronted.  If we have itchy ears, it is because we want what is right in our own eyes, and we want someone somewhere to validate us by simply scratching it without fixing it, or causing us to admit wrong.  This is seen by life choices we make that the bible says is wrong.  We try to get someone to tell us that we don't need to feel condemned, or  guilty about our sin, so we don't change, we just allow them to scratch itchy ears with acrylic nails.  It may feel better, but the itch will come back until we deal with the underlying problem.  

The bible talks about oil, or the anointing that destroys yokes.  The anointing of God works as an antibiotic to destroy what is trying to destroy us.  Instead of allowing the itch to continue, deal with it with the word of God.  Whatever you underlying problem is, God holds the solution. If we don't deal with it at the root, it will later resurface.

As spiritual people who are called by God, we can't afford to value our platforms more than we do His word.  We owe it to the people we serve, to care enough to call wrong, wrong, to love them and give them the oil of the word of God to help them to heal from past hurts, and current bondage. If you are trying to help someone with itchy ears, understand that just scratching their itch will not help them. God can handle all itchy ears, but His word works best in the raw... He does not need our smooth edges to try to stop the itch.  Trust His word to work in us, and in those who choose to please Him. 

"NO REGRETS! Okay, maybe a few..."

We don't like failure.  We don't want to look like failure, feel like failure, or even give a hint of failure.  Truthfully there is nothing wrong with wanting to be on the winning side, we all want to be.  But over the years,there are things we have done, things we have said, and things that we didn't do, or say, that can feel like a failure.  Those things often turn into regrets.  

A regret is defined as -a feeling of sadness, repentance or disappointment, over something that happened, was done, or a missed opportunity.' 

Regrets often manifest because of our choices, not the choices of others. We can't control what others do, but when we are part of the decision, or the action...or if we walk past an opportunity,  it can cause regrets.   

LIVING IN REGRETS

Over the years we have been told to not live in regret.   We talk about past things in a way that allows us to almost ignore them. See. regrets are mood killers.  INSTANT mood killers.  As positive people we like to learn from our mistakes instead of admitting them.  But it's almost impossible to learn and not admit at the same time.   We are quick to say what good came out of something negative,  instead of acknowledging the bad we got stuck with because of it.  We have been taught that the glass is half full is better than admitting that it is also half empty at the same time.    

I am an optimist.  I look for good in people, and in myself, as well as circumstances, but even though I too refuse to live in regret, I do have many.  There are times I could have payed more attention to,  when raising our kids, information and I could have attained early about finances and investments. Money I shouldn't have spent, and credit cards I should have cut up.  Yes, there are always relationships issues I could have avoided, circumstances I should have walked around, and words that should never have come out of my mouth!  All could be regrets.  So when I say I don't have any regrets, what does that mean?

THE POWER OF YOUR REGRETS

But the power of regrets is often found in admitting them, while not being governed by them.  Yes, who you are today came through the good and bad that happened in your life, we learn from both.   I can say I have no regrets when it comes to the ones I have already allowed myself to evaluate.  The ones I have learned from.  Some regrets however are out of my hand.  What was done is done, and when I see results of it in people I was in contact with, I remember to pray.  I can't go back and redo what was done, but I can  there to help them not have to have and live with the same regret I had.  It is almost like paying it forward. 

The apostle Paul said it this way: 

"Of course, my friends, I really do not think that I have already won it; the one thing I do, however, is to forget what is behind me and do my best to reach what is ahead.  So I run straight toward the goal in order to win the prize, which is God's call through Christ Jesus to the life above.  " Phil 3:13

Today is here, it is yours and you are well equipped to handle it.  If you let yesterday's regrets stop you today, you will probably live to regret it.  My encouragement to you is to admit whatever it is that you may feel regret about, pull the lessons, and the actions needed to help you move forward.  Then PRESS past anything that tries to keep you holding onto yesterday and conquer your today!

Mother's Day "Why I Wish You Were Here, But Glad You Are Not!"

On a normal week leading to Mother's Day, many of us would be running to stores trying to find the perfect gift.  We would no doubt be looking for flowers, her favorite perfume, planning a dinner, or buying a plane ticket for a surprise visit.  So much that we would normally do we are currently unable to do because of this pandemic.  I can't imagine how it feels today trying to figure out how to honor a mom that you genuinely love, amid all the hindrances that we are facing.  However, many of us still wouldn't be able to imagine it, because our mothers are no longer here. 

MISSING MOM

Even though I really miss my mom there are so many things that I'm glad she missed.   Since my mother was very patriotic, I'm glad she missed the turmoil in politics that we've seen over the past few years.  I'm glad that she missed the embarrassment and breakdown of respect from other nations that we are facing.  My mom was also a deputy sheriff  in El Paso, Texas, so I'm glad she's missed the escalation in violence from officers and towards officers in our nation.  She missed the Walmart shooting that took place literally blocks from our house in  El Paso, the very one that they shopped at most Saturday mornings.  And I am really glad she's missed the Corona virus. 
My mom was the type of woman who was selfless.  As a single parent of five, she would go and do so much to help people, and would put herself out there to ensure her friends were well.  She purchased extra gifts just in case someone stopped by and it fit their need.  If someone needed a place to stay she got to work.  She helped decorate rooms for veterans and organized fundraisers for them as well.  I couldn't  imagine my mom being alive today, practicing social distancing while trying to ensure all her kids, grands and great grands were well. As much as I miss her, I am so glad she missed this. 

LIFE LESSONS 

I fully understand that our parents who have passed away actually survived and dealt with so much more than we know about in their lives.  I'm not glad she missed this time because I think she was weak or unable to handle it.  I actually think she would be a strong and involved as ever.  Throughout her life, she handled  every issue that she faced.  Yeah, sometimes she complained, but she made it through them all- still loving people and still working to ensure her family and others were well.  I had  a front seat view for many years before she passed.  From every struggle, every loss, every challenge, she stayed in the game until the game was over.  There is nothing like life lessons especially when they come from a mother you love.

THE GIFT

Even though she isn't here right now, I have an example of someone outliving life's problems.  Corona is here today, and I am glad that she is not here to deal with it, but I know what she would do it she was.   First, she would cry for a bit, then gather herself and deal with it.  She would  adjust where she needed to adjust, check on all of us to be sure we were following guidelines. She would check on her friends and any neighbors still living. She would mail us food, (we probably wouldn't need because she taught us how to use deep freezers), and she would send us money 'just in case'. The biggest thing she would do would be to come out of it without the smell of it.  She would come out happy, whole and making sure others did the same.   So this week, I don't have a gift to buy for her, but I still have the gifts that she left us... A lesson in living and knowing that this too shall pass.  

So the gift I have, I give to you... On behalf of my mother, I pray that you will remember God in the  midst of this pandemic.  I pray that you will watch out for each other and know that someone has your back.  I pray that you will remember that others have survived worst and we are going to be okay.  We are in this together and we will come out not smelling like it!  

Happy Mothers Day Mommy!  I kinda wish you were here, but I'm really glad you are not.  Enjoy your rest, it's our turn to learn... With the help of God, we got this!