Racism: It's Your Move!

 

I  missed Jesse Williams’ acceptance speech on BET the other day.  I was hanging with my kids and grandkids.  So of course I had to search for the speech to hear what the buzz was about.  After hearing it, I felt a sense of pride that someone could articulate the problem so well, but I also felt sad, because no matter how well it is articulated… it still does not solve the problem.

Racism is a hard topic for me.

I was raised in a children’s home full of white and Hispanic children.    We were the only black family that lived there.  No one knew how to do our hair and no one could show us how to.   We were called names, talked about and ridiculed openly around the other young children that didn’t look like us.  This was done mainly by the adults that worked in the home.   Because the children’s home we lived in was a Christian based home, it gave us a glimpse of God.  We learned scripture and songs did programs and went to camp.  I was so busy living life and trying to have fun that I ignored some of the snide remarks and funny looks.  I don’t really think I saw the problem.   

I recall one night after our baths, the kids were watching TV in the den.  We were all sitting on the floor in our clean hand me down pajamas when a commercial came on.  It featured a young black couple advertising popular toothpaste.  When the jingle played and they smiled, their teeth were glistening white and straight.  I looked at the TV proudly!   Immediately the woman who was watching us said loudly “Those are not their teeth, black people don’t have good teeth.”   

 

 

To this day, I always remember that comment. This is what we grew up with, but instead of getting mad at everyone, I realized that there was a problem.   And it wasn’t me. 

Racism is a hard topic for me.  Not because I think it does not exist.  Not because I am an angry black woman who is scared.  It is hard for me because I know what God thinks about all of us.  He loves us. ALL OF US.  There is something so unique about all of us and every day, we miss it.  We miss HIM.

Honestly, I don’t know how to fix the problem.   I don’t have any new plan or  advice to end it.   I can only raise my kids to love everyone but also understand that others may not love them.  I can teach my son to be aware of his surroundings, to respect all law enforcement, but don’t agree to something that might be a set up.  I can remind my children and all those around me to respect each other and believe the best, until you start seeing the worst.

 

 

To me fighting racism is twofold.  It has to be done by both sides.  One side can’t expect the other to change without the other side changing.  It is like a marriage.  God tells women to respect their husbands and tells husbands to love their wives.    BUT…….Who is supposed to begin the process? 

We used to say, “Men, if you love her, she will respect you.”  and “Women, if you respect him, he will love you.”  But no one wants to make the first move.

You can’t get someone to think differently of you if you continue doing the negative things that they expect.  And You know you will not think differently of others if they keep doing the negative things you expect.  We  may be able to live around  each other,  but we may not trust them, just like they may not trust you. 

So, my conclusion is this.  I have no clue what we are going to do to fix this problem in our society.  But it is a serious problem.   So there it is......

 

Who will make the first move?

 

Fighting Terror In Terrible Times- Pray for Orlando

 

All of us are aware of the tragic happenings in Orlando Sunday Morning.  We are shocked, angry and hurt.  So many emotions grip us, including fear- because all of us realize, it could have been us. 

You may say “No, I wouldn’t be caught in a Gay Club, so it couldn’t be me.” 

But truth be told, do you have children in elementary school?  Have you ever gone to a mall, eaten out in a restaurant or attended a movie?  What about driving?  Have you ever honked your horn at someone on the road?  Maybe you have been in a relationship with someone either personal or professional and it was not the best?  You may be a manager who had to fire someone because their performance was not up to the company standards.   Perhaps you have attended a simple bible study in the middle of the week….. 

Yes, it could have been you…. it could have been me.

Oddly enough, every time we hear of these killings our world becomes closer and further at the same time.  On one hand, we understand the pain of a mother looking for her son.  We understand the trauma of a person pretending to be dead with someone else’s blood on them.  All of a sudden, we come out of our politically correct mindsets, our racial divisiveness, our spiritual differences and we hurt together as one.  But on the other hand, somehow we try to figure out what just happened and who in their right mind would do something like this.  Then we start blaming. 

Maybe if we blame someone, it will help us with our anger, we can focus our pain and terror on a group or political cause- so we can feel better from day to day.

We blame other religions. This leaves religious leaders constantly trying to convince us they are not part of the problem.  They understand that this kind of anger can turn into retaliation –even though they have lived and worked in this country without any ill will. 

We blame the availability of guns.  Which causes another battle, since guns really don’t kill people, people kill people. Our next argument is if we would just regulate, maybe that will change this pain and terror we feel today.  That leads us to the next blame….

We blame mental illness.  This is normally where we park when we try to make sense of something that makes no sense.  But it does not completely explain the disgruntled coworker, the road rage driver, the heartbroken lover, or even the person who is just angry and feels they have nothing to lose.  Though we would love to believe it is all mental illness, then we have to admit… all of us suffer from some type of it.

Then we try to name it.  Is it a Terror attack or is it a Hate crime?  Truth is… anytime anyone takes another person’s life, it is a terror attack and a hate crime.  It is driven by hate and it adds terror to the lives the many people closest to those who have been lost as well as everyone who knows at any time, it could be them.

In Sunday’s attack, I realized we have become too vulnerable to our own terror. 

Just because someone we say is mentally ill says they have ties with ISIS, does that mean they do?  After all, they were supposed to be mentally ill.  Are they trying to connect with something greater than themselves so they can go out in a wave of glory and confusion and allow their name to live on?  And of course ISIS- whether it is a connection or not ,may accept it- if it is bad enough.  That way their goal is still met.  Terror.  Then we fall right into the  same trap that grips us.

 

Whether we try to blame someone or try to get a target in our minds to help us cope. we are still in terror. Our anger at the family that raised the individual may help, perhaps send them a death threat, that will surely change things.  NO… it just keeps us in the cycle that started it all.  HATE.

The bible says Fear has torment.  (Terror)

“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.”  1 John 4:18

 

America is often best when we are under attack from a known enemy.  We lay aside our differences and focus on helping our brother or sister who are hurting like we are.  Whether it is flooding in Texas, tornadoes in The Great Plains, fires in California,   or a lone shooter on the loose.  We have seen our best behavior when we are fighting together against a known enemy.   America has the opportunity to be better than that.   If we realize that ISIS is not our greatest enemy and that they are simply a tool of our greatest enemy, then maybe we will look and find who our greatest enemy is.  Yes, you expect me to say the devil, satan.  Yes, I can say that, but if God is love, then HATE is not working with Him but against Him.  When we hate each other whether by the color of our skin, political views or even our religion… we are cooperating with our greatest enemy. 

PERFECT LOVE CAST OUT ALL FEAR.  If we want to really settle the issue that causes us the greatest terror, we have to learn to love.

 

Father God,

Thank You for caring about everything that concerns us.  Lord, we pray today for every person who has been broken by this horrible attack.  Though we may all have different views about You,  I thank You for touching their families, thank You for loving them and sending them comfort during this time.  Not one of us would want to trade place with them, but help us to join together with them in prayer. To realize there is more that connects us than divides.  Help them to find a place of peace and love in the midst of torment and terror.  And Father, we pray for our country.  Help us to rely on You, to trust in You to seek You.  You said if we sought your face and prayed for our nation You would hear and heal our land.  We are not giving up on that.   Thank You for sending healing today, especially to Orlando.  For all those who suffer with mental illness and  are troubled in their minds with thoughts of violence, help them to get the help they need to find the peace that evades them. We thank You for caring about all of us, even those who are struggling today.  We thank You for  peace and for hope, in Jesus name, amen.

 
(Get the book by Jacqui Goudeau " Departed Friends- Good Grief"  chapter on The Blame Game.)www.wisdomspeakstoday.com