The Umbilical Cord
I remember when my first child was born. I vividly recall having a serious talk with
her as she tried opening her eyes. I simply told her “You know they cut the
umbilical cord. That means you are no
longer totally dependent on me. Don’t
get scared, I am not kicking you out! I
still have a responsibility to feed you, cloth you, ensure you are trained to
handle life, and all, but, now you have
to be totally dependent on God. He is
the only one who will be there at all times, I will do my part, and part of
that is getting you to trust Him to do His.”
Since that day, I have echoed that conversation to her. We have talked and laughed about me doing that to a newborn, but more than anything else, I have reiterated it
to her by actually actually DOING IT.
Gifts They Can’t Break
We really love our children, at least MOST of us do. We like
talking about who they look like and how sweet they are. We
love to talk about the strides they've made beyond their months or years. We are proud when they take first steps, or
start eating solid food, the first birthday cake mess, even when they make their first
touchdown. Sometimes we show our love by the gifts we give them: expensive shoes, toys, electronics and
clothes. But what gifts might we be neglecting to cultivate in them?
How about the gift of Love, Patience, Consideration,
Gentleness, Wisdom, A Prayer Life, Respect of authority, Balanced self image, the Ability to make
decisions governed by God.
If we give them these things, they will surpass us in this
life. If we give in to the climate of
today that allows them to think and act like everyone else, we have allowed this world to mold them. Make a list of the qualities that you know cost much more than things, and give them those gifts.
Privacy?
When it comes to kids, we have to talk about social
media. I see young children who have
better phones than I do! Not a problem,
if that is what you choose. But what are
they really getting with the phone itself? Are they
learning responsibility or discernment as they use them? That tangible gift alone can be broken and it can break them. It can turn into a means that allows your
child to take in more info and images than they are mature enough to handle. The question has been raised: How do you govern them and still trust
them? My answer, you have to do
both. First have a good relationship with them, be open
and honest about what can happen and what dangers they may encounter. Give a child responsibility based on their
age, wisdom and understanding. As they grow, give them more. I have the passwords to both of my kids phones, (they have mine aa well) and they know that at any time I will ask to see what they are doing. But then after a while that fades, because they have earned my trust.
Roots and Wings
If we want our kids to be successful as we lend them to God,
we must learn to give them roots. Give
them a home base that they always can run to, and it isn’t at your address! It
is in God. They will need roots that go
deeper than their relationship with you because one day you will be gone. And truthfully we are not the standard for their lives, God's word is. Our mistakes can give them excuses, God's word will give them a way out. His word will them maneuver past our mistakes and will also help them avoid the generational pitfalls.
We also have to give them wings. The ability to dream and jump! Following their heart as God gives them directions. Some of what they may do might be scary, especially to us. You may have to spot them according to the roots, but allow them to try their wings then enjoy watching them fly.
We also have to give them wings. The ability to dream and jump! Following their heart as God gives them directions. Some of what they may do might be scary, especially to us. You may have to spot them according to the roots, but allow them to try their wings then enjoy watching them fly.
Cleanser On the Sink
On occasion you can walk in a bathroom in my house and find
cleanser with a sponge on the sink.
Because I am told that I am “A” type, you know it was not left there on
accident. It is a message to my kids
that your sink needs to be cleaned. I
know when it is done because the cleanser and sponge will miraculously appear
again under my sink.
There is so much we
can and should teach our children. But
in the midst of the spiritual lessons, don’t forget the natural lessons like bathing and cleaning! Our children are not so fragile that they
cannot clean, learn to cook, make their beds or help around the house. Again, one day they will be on their own and
you will not be there to cover them. Around the age of 2, it was time for my kids to pitch in! It started with picking up toys, putting their
clothes, s, back packs, as well as putting dirty clothes in the hamper. This is not child abuse! It is raising kids. I told them there was a place for everything and helped them find or decide where it was. I would sit with them in their room and give instruction or point to where things went. This helped them learn with supervision so later on I could have them to do it without me. Once everything is in place, the space is clean. If we continue to do everything for them,
they will never know the joys of a job well done, nor will they realize they
too are responsible for their life.
Challenge Your Children
If social media has taught us anything, we have learned that kids like challenges.
Whether the water challenge, cinnamon challenge, duct tape challenge, whatever
it is, they like the feeling of belonging by meeting a challenge. Some challenges have proven to be dangerous and/or hurtful, but nevertheless they've tried them anyway. They may not have the wisdom to decide which
one is good, but they like either knowing about, or participating in one. We should join in as parents. Challenge our kids! I recall helping a family once who was having
a difficult time with their child, I bribed him. Told him I would take him out to dinner, his
choice… if he did better in school. He
did, we ate and he continued to do well. People don't like bribes so call it 'incentives'. Either way, he is now in his twenties and working his
purpose. I remember when my son finally got out of
the car seat, the challenge was “Every time you put your seat belt on before I ask
you.. I will give you a quarter.” I
lost a little bit of money, but one day he said “Okay mommy, you don’t have to
do that anymore, I get the picture.” I now have automatic seatbelt wearers in the house. The world has caught on to the appeal of challenges, we should too.
Do what you can to challenge your kids to do what is right.
Lend them to God
“I prayed for this child, and the LORD has given me what I asked Him for: Therefore I have lent him to the LORD; as
long as he lives he will be lent to the LORD....” – (1 Samuel 1:27-28)
I used hear that children are ‘LENT” to us by
God. But when I studied for myself the
scripture really says that WE lend them to God!
Who would lend something precious to someone who you knew would ruin it? If you are a reckless driver,
you will NOT be driving my car. So it is not that God lends us His children, but we lend them to HIM. When we
do, He gives them back to us better than they would ever have been without Him. He has the resources and knowledge to mold
them into people that we never thought they could be, but He always knew they would. Sometimes we get so caught up on giving them what we never
had, we neglect to give them what we did have. We try so hard to give them freedoms that we didn’t have
and don’t consider that they may need
more structure. We have to consider
raising them by lending them to God. By allowing His word to guide them, pointing them to Him, the only ONE who will be there for their entire journey. He knows and will always do what is best for them, He loves them.
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