Expect Respect? Police v/s Community

Those of you who know me, know I am not an activist.  I am not trying to be one, won’t be one after this.  But what I am is an African American citizen of the United States of America.  I am governed by laws that are written and some not written.  I respect authority and honor my president, no matter what party they are affiliated with and no matter what color they are.  I am patriotic, I do love this country.  I still hold my hand over my heart when I hear the Star Spangled Banner.   What I am not, is BLIND.

I wrote an earlier blog about Resisting Arrest. It speaks to the difficulty for anyone to NOT resist arrest.  It is not in our make-up. Our bodies automatically move when in pain, automatically respond when threatened.  My first blog was early in the day so I mentioned the shooting of Mr. Alton Sterling, but I chose to not comment on what I had not looked further into.   

Since then, I was able to view another angle of the shooting.  My heart sank and  I almost threw up.  I accidentally came across the video and before I knew it, I was watching a man die.  I watched his arm shake uncontrollably while the life left his body.  In the midst of the cursing from the officers and the removing of the gun from his shorts, I was unable to move.   

Last night I lost a lot of sleep due to talking to my children.  My 14 year old son was talking about the video, so I sat with him in my room and talked it out.  I could see him wiping tears, trying not to let me see him.  We had a discussion about why I do what I do when a teacher calls me from school or why I have him apologize on his own when a bus driver wrongfully accuses him of something.  The initial conversation from the school often seems escalated on their end, they were expecting me to defend, take off earrings and fight.  But, I allow them to see the rational and understanding side of our family.  This has served us well in school.  But what happens when he begins to drive, when he begins to look for a job and people don’t call me to complain about him.  Needless to say, we went to bed late.  I woke this morning and the light was still on in his room.  He slept with the light on.

Yes, I was tired.  But before sleeping I had the horror of watching yet another live feed of Mr. Philando Castile who was shot and killed by an officer after a traffic stop.  I don’t watch high level violent movies, so I am not calloused, this is not entertainment to me.  This became a rare occasion that I am seeing a second person die after being shot- this one on a live feed.

I have mentioned before that I was not an activist.  But I know that action is required.  At some point, we have to realize that there are problems in our society.  Many of us have known it, but others who have the power to do something about it, still live in denial.  I listened as one woman tried to use Mr. Sterling’s past as an excuse to be gunned down while pinned down.  I hear another person say that the officers were in fear for their lives.  I’m not sure they saw the same 2 videos that I saw.

So what are we going to do?  I encourage everyone to do what you can.  You may not do crowds or boycotting, but you may write, talk, send letters, call your congressman, mayor or other government officials.  Let them know, something has to be done to better unite our communities and our law enforcement. 

RESPECT GAINED- RESPECT LOST

POSITIONAL RESPECT

There are two ways to gain respect.  One way respect is gained is for the position, role or title you hold.  It is expected and given automatically.  You don’t have to earn it, people can respect you while you are in that position, but they might still disrespect you otherwise.  It is like working on a job for a boss you dislike, but because of their role and your paycheck, you put up with it.  The position of law enforcement has been given the same boot that our presidential role has been given.  Ever since President Bush was ridiculed as he left office, had shoes thrown at him, the office has been disrespected.  Now with President Obama, it has escalated.  NO respect for the POSITION. Our police have lost the respect as a position. This is unfortunate for those who do their jobs well and take their oath seriously.  It is much like any race or religion who are placed in the same pot and judged as a whole.

EARNED RESPECT

The second way to gain respect is to earn it.   This depends on what you do or what you have done.   Each day we have to earn respect on our jobs, in our neighborhoods and in our families.  How we act determines whether or not someone will give us any respect.  Now, our police are losing that too.  How can you enforce the law if there is no respect for authority?  What we are seeing right now is not good. We need to begin and continue a valid conversation in our communities and with our law enforcement.  We need training on both sides on how to handle a simple stop that is not viewed initially as criminal. We need training on how to deescalate situations instead of escalating them.   

We have a choice.  We can get angry for a moment then continue with life as it has been, or we can do something about it.  In our homes- give back authority to parents to discipline children without fear of prosecution, give back the right to be innocent until proven guilty, give back what we take from each other every day-  the right to live.

If we don't do something, all of us are subject to lose.  

If we can’t find a common ground of mutual respect with the community and law enforcement…there will be no enforcement of law.