Liars are interesting people. I'm not referring to the people who tell an occasional lie about whether or not that outfit looks good on you, or the exaggerations in retelling a story; I mean those who are PROFESSIONAL LIARS, the ones who don't even realize they are doing it. See a good liar believes their own lie, they are so convincing that even when you know the truth, they can get you to question if you misunderstood them. They are so good at juggling truth and fiction
that they can answer a test question thrown at them quickly, without blinking,
thinking or breaking a sweat... a real
liar is that good.
When dealing with sexual assault, you would be surprised at
the lies we believe, and most don’t
come from the perpetrator.
THE LIES WE BELIEVE
Everyone understands the lie of victim blaming. We have heard and seen it portrayed in
real life so we kind of get the fact that the person who is in the wrong, may try to push the blame on the victim. Whether it is the normal things said, or the
way you made them feel, or even if you didn’t really say “NO”. These are the
normal lies, we know them, we have seen them, we try to overcome them. But there is a whole different type of lie I want
to deal with today. If you have ever been a victim of sexual assault/molestation, you will know what I am talking about.
The biggest lies we believe are the ones we tell ourselves.
After growing past the initial incident of sexual assault, I kind of went on with life as I knew it. I didn't realize the baggage I was carrying mainly because no one was available to tell me. (see previous blog #1 "Battling Sexual Assault"...Tell Someone")
As a kid in school, I had issues where boys were not really attracted to me, so I just made them friends. I managed to make it through High School without any 'consensual encounters', and I was glad about that, but it still bothered me, because it looked like the narrative in my head. As a young adult, that feeling didn't change but it turned into "Something is wrong with me, and I can't have children." Understand NOBODY told me that, I hadn't visited a doctor, hadn't read any articles nor had I received any insight concerning the matter. Since I was not sexually active in High School, I didn’t have anything that could make me think that it was true. So what did I do? I did test runs... unprotected sex with different men in my early 20's. I even told some of them that I couldn't have kids, I believed the lie that bad. I was not thinking about how many unmarried mothers were out there. I didn't care, about that, the lie in my head had me making decisions that were not safe, not wise and it wasn't until AIDS came around that I thought about my actions and changed. (Thank you Jesus for GRACE and MERCY)
Not being able to have children was simply a lie I told myself, and I believed it. It wasn’t until I was married and expecting my first child that I realized it was not true.
As a kid in school, I had issues where boys were not really attracted to me, so I just made them friends. I managed to make it through High School without any 'consensual encounters', and I was glad about that, but it still bothered me, because it looked like the narrative in my head. As a young adult, that feeling didn't change but it turned into "Something is wrong with me, and I can't have children." Understand NOBODY told me that, I hadn't visited a doctor, hadn't read any articles nor had I received any insight concerning the matter. Since I was not sexually active in High School, I didn’t have anything that could make me think that it was true. So what did I do? I did test runs... unprotected sex with different men in my early 20's. I even told some of them that I couldn't have kids, I believed the lie that bad. I was not thinking about how many unmarried mothers were out there. I didn't care, about that, the lie in my head had me making decisions that were not safe, not wise and it wasn't until AIDS came around that I thought about my actions and changed. (Thank you Jesus for GRACE and MERCY)
Not being able to have children was simply a lie I told myself, and I believed it. It wasn’t until I was married and expecting my first child that I realized it was not true.
MORE LIES
Over the years I have heard stories from men and women alike and they too believed lies. A woman that believed that her body was to be available for all men, she thought that was being biblically submissive. Not realizing the bible never said for women to submit to men- just to their 'own husband.' Another who was so hurt by a man that she decided no man would ever touch her again, now she craves the arms of another woman. Other lies included a man who continually denied any negative affect from being molested by babysitters, because it felt good. He now feels that his current state of promiscuity is a blessing because of all the women he has been with. The sad thing is that he is unaware of what they stole from him, and since he has never seen it, he no longer looks for it. One of the biggest lies is thinking that you will never enjoy a full ,whole relationship. That lie will make you settle for things less satisfying and cause you to Live and Love in mediocrity.
How long will you allow the enemy to talk to you? How long will you believe the lie in your
head? I don’t know what your lie is, but I had plenty. Things that made me feel
like something was wrong, that I was undesirable or that my body was unable to
operate in God’s original design. The
funny thing about lies is that they are made up of words... and you can form your world with them.
HEALING FROM LIES
As a young Christian, I had the privilege of being connected
to really good churches, and strong believers.
That allowed me early on to understand who God said I was, and who He created me to be. I understood I was not to blame
for what happened to me, I grew to no longer be a victim, but a victor! I learned to recognize when those old lies were trying to show their face
again. You have to stay on top of who
you are, because the devil is sneaky. He
will jump in the middle of an interview, a conversation with a coworker, an
argument with your loved ones or while enjoying a movie on a peaceful day. Stay diligent in understanding your great worth in Christ.
The greatest lesson I learned was that I am made in God's image and likeness, so I can frame my world with my words. I choose to replace any lie with the truth of God's word. I choose daily to believe it, to confess it and to walk in the truth. The best way to defeat the lies you have told yourself, is to hear the truth that God says about you! Don’t allow the lies of the enemy to govern your life because they are really his lies, not yours, don’t accept them. The devil is one of those 'good liars', but remember... he is still a LIAR, don't believe him. You deserve to enjoy your life, to live free from any and every bondage, because Christ has set you free. Be free!
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