"Don't Do What I Do... Do What I Say!"

We have all heard it before.  People who tell you to do what they SAY, not what they DO.  That was an old school adage that was often said by parents who felt the responsibility to train their children opposite of how they may have been living.   It was also attributed to church leaders that  didn’t follow their own teachings.  It was not a saying that anyone felt was right, it  was a bit hypocritical and was often used in conversations in a negative way.  Today I am finding that  this saying holds more truth than we could have imagined.  We need to pay close attention to what is said that is right, and not what is done.

EXAMPLES: GOOD AND BAD

The bible tells us in scripture that many things in the bible happened as examples for us.  We have scripture that tells us to BE an example, and other scriptures show us examples through the lives of bible characters of how to have faith, deal with obstacles or even serve - such as Jesus washing the disciples feet.  We often only think of examples as good ones, but some bad ones are meant to teach us what NOT TO DO.  

Today it is very difficult to hear things that hit Christians and leaders in our country.  One thing we have not mastered, is figuring out which are examples of what not to do, and which simply teach us about consequences.  Many times we can see what others have done and we think we can  just tweak their plan and find success.  That may be true, but hopefully the overall plan is a good one.

WHAT WE DO...

I awoke today to news that yet another pastor had ended his life.  Just over the last month or so, I have gotten news about leaders I know walking away from their faith, a  successful loving father I am familiar with who committed suicide, married people leaving their families without much reasoning and more.   If our next generation was left to what we DO, they would be of all most miserable.  Our kids are watching us, some of them live in a time that suicide seems reasonable.  They watch how we handle conflict at a little league game, they watch us fight teachers and administration at school, how we talk and ridicule the leaders at church; they see us lie, cut lines, curse and berate others in traffic and even hear us talk about others in authority and justify it because they are themselves bad examples.  When will we learn to teach our children by being a good example instead of expecting them to be able to sift through all the scenarios we offer and try to find what is right?  Our children are more angry, more depressed and more unsure of love than ever before.  It is difficult for them to find examples, if we can't.   Children or adults, may try to justify bad actions, by pointing to someone they look up to who has done the same thing.

I understand that just because we are believers or leaders does not mean we are perfect, it does not mean we get everything right, or that we don’t get seriously depressed and discouraged because we do.  But to help this next generation, we may need to put a foot note in our lives that says, “Don’t do what I do, do what God says.” 

WHAT WE SAY…

If you have a child or mentee,  you owe them a village of teachers; a village of examples that they can see press forward in hard times.  This will let them know that we are all human, but more than all the things they see, we have to all have one thing in common... what God has said.  Having them solely depend on you and their peers is unfair to them. Being in a good church where the leaders have a heart for excellence and God’s word, helps.  No church is perfect, but if the word of God is rich, balanced and covering all aspects of life; if people are encouraged to follow God, not people, that will help.  It is hard sometimes to decide what that looks like, but pay attention to your kids, be sure this world is not leading them without God. There has to be someone who speaks to their thoughts more than the examples they see.  Then be sure WE are not leading them without God. Be the best example you can be, follow God in difficult times and don't feel burdened to perform just to be an example.  The day will come - no matter how much we try to do right, when something confuses them, and they will need to know what God says to help them battle what we've done.