#MeToo Battling Sexual Assault #4 "My Best Life!"

THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

I remember a story I heard years ago about a father who's child was hurting.  The child had a horrible ear infection and it was not only causing excruciating pain, it was also causing their equilibrium to be off.  This loving father took their child to the doctor and part of the treatment included them inserting something in the ear to clean it.  A mirror lined the far wall where they laid the child.  Because they expected the child to resist, he was asked to hold his child down while they did the procedure. His heart was hurting as he heard the first scream, tears welled up in his eyes as he continued to hold the child down.  At a certain point, the father looked up and his eyes fell on his child's reflection in the mirror, he was so consumed by the screams that he didn't know his child was looking at him.  The mirror reflected the agonizing pain in the face of his  child.  He continued to hold his child down even though it was as if the child's eyes were begging for help, wondering "why won't you stop them?"

THE TURMOIL

I learned early about the drain that emotional turmoil brings, it is very real. We can't minimize the feelings of hopelessness, depression or despair because they are very real.  There are even other emotions that make no sense to someone on the outside, like a woman who found her daughter was being molested by her step father and she did what any good mother would do, she reported it.  What she didn't realize is that after he was taken away from her, she would no longer be able to look her daughter in the eyes, because somehow she became 'the other woman', the one that made her lose her man. That family took another hit when the mother sent her child to another place to be raised, just so she could have peace.  Imagine what that did to the little girl. Most of us can't understand that, but it is a reality to many.  So understanding that you are not weird because you are reminded of things in ways that bring bondage.  That is the enemy's plan, to bind you. 

DRYING YOUR TEARS

I try to be very careful about how I handle the great people of God.  I don't intend to minimize anyone's hurt or struggle.  Typically when people come to me for help, they are tired of crying.  Nothing wrong with crying and getting in touch with your pain, but I really can't do that too long.  I have too much to do, and it starts to wear on me in a different way. So part of my purpose is to help people see God in the midst of whatever is going on.  I am not much help to those who want to talk a lot about the pain, relive the pain or for some... waddle in it.  I know my area of strength and it is to help you dry your tears.  I understand not everyone receives from me, and that is okay; God has plenty help in His body of believers for all of us. 

One thing about sexual assault is the fact that the residue of it is supposed to follow you every day for the rest of your life.  You are not supposed to enjoy a intimate relationship with yourself, with God or with others. The enemy will see to it that you have reminders that don't allow you to go forward and enjoy your best life.  You have to know when your tears have fallen too much, and it is time to dry them.

STEPS TO YOUR BEST LIFE 

We won't have time or space to walk you through every step to wholeness, but I will give you a few things to help you begin.   Some may have to see a counselor  to work through some deeper issues, but others can simply work through these steps.  

First thing we all know... we have to learn to FORGIVE.  We have all heard it, avoided it but it will always come back.  Yes we have heard forgiveness is for you, not the offender.  That is true, but we have to know that forgiving gives you access to God's grace and power that comes through simple obedience to Him.  When we ask God to help us forgive and do that from a real place, He draws near to us to empower us to do His will. Grace comes, favor comes, power comes from God to a heart that is yielded to His word.  Forgiving does not mean not reporting it, it does not mean you have to prove it by being in that person's company, it simply means "I release you from my list of people to get back at, and I leave you in God's hands- while trusting that God will bring you into a relationship with Himself."  Part of forgiving is praying for God to work in their life, not on our behalf, but on His.

Another step is to READ THE WORD.  Find out what God really thinks about you.  I highly recommend a book entitled "Victory Over Darkness" by Neil T Anderson. This book will challenge you to know and understand who you are and help you walk in it. He has a second book "Bondage Breaker" that is also powerful.  I read through both of them in my early 20's. 

The last thing I will mention here is to DISCOVER AND WALK IN YOUR PURPOSE. We often underestimate the power of purpose.  It keeps you in line, it keeps you living, it keeps you growing in grace. It helps keep your mind focused.  Walking in what you are called to do is powerful.  Every experience you have been through helps with your purpose.  Not because God chose the evil people have done to help prepare you, but because He always works ALL things together for your good and His glory.  It works together for you by faith and by default. 

YOUR BEST LIFE 

The decisions you make and the things you put in place to have a better life has to be stronger than a counseling session, more permanent than a hashtag. You have to really believe what God has said about you.  Not quote it, rally around it, but really KNOW and walk in it.  This brings overcoming power in your life, power to overcome the flashbacks, bitterness and unforgiveness.

Don't allow anyone who victimized you to win. Don't allow the devil who motivated them to win. You have a life in front of you, and when you realize you have cried your last tear, you can push forward and find out exactly what opportunities  are out there to find wholeness, enjoy your today and help someone tomorrow.  Your Daddy God is in the fight with you, He sees your reflection in the mirror of life's situations and He knows that you are hurting. But more than anything else, He knows that the process is good for you, once the mess of what has happened to you is cleaned out, you are going to come out alright.  You will regain your equilibrium and walk in victory! 

When the tears for your situation cease you are ready!  When the tears you now cry are for people who are on the journey you have finished, that is when you know you are at another place.  That is when what you went through is now used to strengthen others.

Your best life also comes when you know it is yours. It comes when you prepare for it by putting the good stuff in place of the bad.  It comes when you choose to see where you are going instead of where you have been. It comes when you know beyond a shadow of a doubt  that all that the enemy has intended for evil in your life is destined to work for you good!   

Dry your tears, and be glad, God will turn your mourning into dancing! Neither the enemy nor your offender has enough power to stop you now.
So go forward, and Live your Best Life!