Old School Bible Relevance: "Raising Children"

Let’s be real, children are children, even if it may seem as if they are miniature adults.  Due to this fast-paced culture they live in, and the ability to learn things quicker than we did, it seems that they are far more advanced.  Children have opinions (something our parents didn’t allow us to have), they are allowed to speak their mind, and trust me, they will!  Children learn beyond their years, they start businesses, they are keen, understand technology and do things that their parents didn't even think to do as children.   This is exciting for our future, but these same advancements can also cause great depression and bullying issues- it can cause self image problems and concern about success too early.  If we drop the ball in parenting this super generation of kids, we will pay for it drastically. I love this generation of children, except for what I don’t love about them. The things I don’t love stems from things I don’t understand…

I don’t understand:

A child hitting their parents and others without correction.

A child talking back and cursing their parents… (really cursing at all.)

A child that thinks everyone is subject to them and must respond favorably to their fits of anger

A child that has no respect for authority figure

A child who tells YOU what they will or won’t do.

As parents, some of us forgot that children are not puppets to make us look good.  We dress them up and buy them everything they want so they are happy- this makes us look like good parents.  But we may be judged by how our kids look in a moment, but we will also be held responsible for how they ARE.   

 I saw this years ago, I don’t remember who said it, but here is my version of it…

“The TEACHERS are scared of the PRINCIPALS, the principals are scared of the SUPERINTENDENTS, the superintendents are scared of the PARENTS, the parents are scared of their CHILDREN, and the children are scared of NO ONE.”  ~ unknown

OLD SCHOOL...SPARE THE ROD!

“Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.”  Prov 13:24

“Folly is bound up in the heart of a child,  but the rod of discipline will drive it far away.”  Prov 22:15

We always thought old school "Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child" meant we had to whip everyone- for everything, but scripture simply says if you do not us a 'rod' you don't really love your children.  The ‘rod’ is not a belt or twig from the backyard, it is a "Rod of Correction".  Every person needs their own Rod of Correction and depending on the personality of that person/child you can tell which rod works.   The Rod of Correction is simply DISCIPLINE.   I was once told that discipline should match the discretion.  If  a child spills milk, cleaning it up may be sufficient.  If you have told the child 5 times to stop hitting the table or they may spill the milk, they still need to clean it up, but the discipline takes another level when mixed with blatant disobedience or rebellion.  The key to good parenting, is not taking some things personal.

ARE YOU MOODY?

The problem we had with old school discipline is that it was often given based on the mood of the parent not the personality or purpose of the child.  If I am mad, tired, upset, distracted or ‘in my feelings’, that is not the time to administer correction.   Your mood should never drive discipline.  Discipline is driven by the personality and purpose of the child.  Of course, some things need to be handled as they happen, so that will require a responsible, mature person who does not take things a child does personally- we don't discipline because of embarrassment, that does not last. Consistency in rules and consequences allows a child time to think and weigh options before doing something they KNOW has a bad outcome.  NO consequences, no reason to think.

A child that is quiet and does not want to disappoint you, may simply get a conversation with simple consequences.  A child that is more social and wants to hang with friends, may get restriction or play time taken away. A child that loves playing games, may have a different ‘rod’ than the one who likes to be alone. Be as creative as your child is when it comes to discipline.  There should be an understanding first, you don't discipline where you have not given instruction- and the consequences should match their understanding and the action.   I have given my kids essays to write with scripture when they were talking too much in school.  Scripture said be swift to hear, slow to speak.   By doing that, it reinforced the scriptures I want them to follow later and they had to focus to do it.

HONOR YOUR MOTHER AND FATHER

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life on the earth.”  Ephesians 6:2-3

There are a few things that we need to remember about HONORING.  First, as parents we need to be honorable.  Yes, scripture has not required that of us when telling the kids to honor us, but it does require that of us on our own.  Not provoking your children to wrath is another thing we need to learn. Being hard and difficult just because they are kids, will not help them honor us.   Today we have many single parents, many blended families, and what we cannot afford to do is to allow our kids to dishonor the other parent.  No matter what you think of them, we should try to keep  or kids  in a place of honoring; not talking bad, not criticizing openly, disobeying or disrespecting them.  We can help our children live better lives if we help to enforce this.  Sometimes we are mad at their other parent, or may not be in the best mood towards them if they are not doing their part, or if they talk bad about us… so we allow our kids to disrespect.  But if we love our kids, we should help them stay in God's grace where it will be well with them.  That is the only commandment with a promise.

OLD SCHOOL BIBLE RELEVANT!

In conclusion, yes old school bible is relevant today when it comes to raising our kids.  If we drop the ball in this area, we will continue to have an increase in crime, bullying, suicide, teen pregnancies and domestic issues.  Genuinely love for our kids is also found in the Rod of Correction.  Taking time to be strong and point them in the right direction, helping them hit a determined target.   Final scripture…

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. Psa 127:4

Train up a child in the way he SHOULD go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it..  Prov 22:6